Monday, November 28, 2011

Offensive or Funny?

There is a fine line between something being offensive and something being funny – sometimes, it can be both! Everybody loves a good joke that is surprisingly true, definitely not politically correct, and makes you feel slightly uncomfortable to the point where you need to casually look to see who’s around you. But where do you draw the line?

The point where is stops being funny and becomes offensive usually arrives in the shape of the butt of the joke challenging the joke-maker or some kind of authority shutting down your joke. Worst case scenario: the cops.
Sure it’s kind of funny to pee on a building or moon someone with your bare behind out of a moving vehicle; no one is denying the offensive funniness of those choices. However, those decisions that seemed pretty darn hilarious with all of your friends and under the cover of night aren’t quite as funny when they land you on a sex offender registry.

General rule: don’t whip out anything that requires an undergarment (i.e. all things included under the blanket term, “private parts”) while in public – no matter how much it might seem like a good idea at the time.

Another very important notion to keep in mind is that “no” always means “NO”; and a “no” can be communicated in several ways. A verbal “no” is obvious in its meaning and it means that you should exit the situation immediately. A non-verbal “no” is harder to pick up on sometimes but one should always assume “no” until you verbally start to hear “yes” (with or without inflection). Anyone who has ever seen Law and Order: Special Victims Unit knows that you do not want to get caught up in a “he-said-she-said” situation. If your partner can not give consent (i.e. inebriated, mute, etc.), the answer is always no – doesn’t matter if it is your consistent booty-call or your spouse of fifty years (congratulations!), never make any assumptions because Olivia (and Elliot – why did he have to leave the show?!) will get justice for the victim.

An act as funny and seemingly insignificant as flashing or urinating outside can put you in the same category as someone who did something that is not funny all. Once you are a registered sex offender, anyone and everyone can find out that information about you by simply doing some research from anywhere with Internet access. You don’t want that; no one wants that. Be smart, keep your pants on (in public), and you might still have a shot at getting a job in this economy – maybe.

http://www.nsopw.gov/Core/Portal.aspx
http://www.familywatchdog.us/

Monday, November 21, 2011

Thanking and Giving is Sexy

Thanksgiving is a time when family and friends strap on their elastic banded pants and gather to eat obscene amounts of delicious comfort food. It is understandable that this is the only day of the year when it is acceptable to consume turkey, stuffing, gravy, cranberry, yams, various side dishes, pies, etc. in one sitting. Why it is the one day of the year where it is acceptable to give thanks, however, is a mystery. The act of giving thanks can be appropriate in several contexts: thanking your mother for always being there for you, thanking your grandparents for the monetary donations over the years, thanking the armed forces for protecting you, and even thanking your lover.

“Thanksgiving” itself, with all of its connotations of family, friends, and food, might seem off-topic on a sex blog; who would want to be naked and in a sexual situation after eating a Thanksgiving meal? But if you break the word up, you can see how it is entirely applicable. To keep in order, let’s start with “thanks”. You are thankful to your lover for all that you receive from them; ranging from oral sex and late-night texts to cute presents and free meals; they can do things for you that you could do yourself but would much prefer someone else to do for you – and it ain’t a one-way street, people. When you are thankful to your grandmother, you give her a hug, kiss on the cheek, and call it a day. When you are thankful to your lover, on the other hand, it requires a little more “giving” on your part. There are 364 other days of the year where it is one hundred percent acceptable (and applaudable) for you to “return the favor” and give your lover a little thanks for all that they do for you.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Monday, November 14, 2011

Natural Aphrodisiacs for an All Natural Good Time

Many people who express a difficulty with reaching an orgasm or getting pleasure out of sexual acts turn straight to sex toys, pornography, and other man-created solutions to problems in the bedroom. These people are overlooking a much easier (and likely more cost efficient) solution; natural aphrodisiacs.

• Natural peppermint soap or shampoo: This scent can help women to reach an orgasm or to have multiple orgasms (woohoo!).

• Cinnamon: It doesn’t just spice up dishes in the kitchen; cinnamon has also proven itself to spice up sex lives and reduce the likelihood of a urinary tract infection (for women).

• Saw Palmetto (good for men): Studies show that it decreases the urgency to pee when you have an empty bladder, nourishes the prostate gland, increases the production of testosterone, and can slow down the appearance of male pattern baldness.

• Pumpkin Seeds: These are known to increase sex drive but also fertility; so, as always, be safe! The high levels of zinc found in these seeds that cause these effects can also be experienced by eating oysters – but pumpkin seeds are little easier to eat on a regular basis than slippery, slimy oysters.

• Spicy Foods and Wasabi: Similar to the effects of sex (perspiration, increased heart rate, etc.), spicy foods are rumored to serve as a natural aphrodisiac for some foreplay. Adding spicy wasabi to your sushi can lead to a hotter sexual encounter.

• Caviar: It might be smelly and made up of fish eggs but this hors d'oeuvre contains many vitamins that nourish nerve cells and increase pleasure – just brush your teeth, please.

• Vanilla, Patchouli, and Musk: All three of these scents (not combined together) promote and stimulate sexual feelings and arousal. The smell of musk might seem out of place on the list of scents to get your juices flowing; it is said to resemble the smell of testosterone and ignite sexual desires.

• Corn Starch: The sexual benefits from this ingredient do not come from consuming it; trickling corn starch onto the nude or semi-nude body creates an incredible sensation sure to drive your partner wild.

• Tomatoes: The juicy tomato is sensual to eat and to watch someone eat. A pair of plump lips pressed about a succulent, red tomato is sure to get your blood rising. Tomatoes can also help to calm pre-sex anxieties and improve muscle control.

• Avocados: In addition to the smooth and delicate texture of the inner avocado, they also provide a healthy source of vitamin E that hydrates and replenishes soft, sexy skin.

• Chocolate: A natural source of phenyl ethylamine, the chemical produced when feelings of love are felt, chocolate is also said to have similar feelings of satisfaction to the feelings felt after sexual intercourse. Chocolate is good, chocolate is great.

All of these aphrodisiacs can play a role in bettering your sexual experiences but the most important factor to remember is: it’s all in your head. Your mind is the most powerful factor in improving your sexual experience. Be imaginative, be safe, be smart, don’t be afraid to feel pleasure, and always, always remember that where there’s a will, there’s a way.

http://www.lifescript.com/life/sex/libido 10_natural_aphrodisiacs_to_turn_up_the_heat.aspx
http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip/55_love_tip.html
http://planetgreen.discovery.com/food-health/green-sex-natural-aphrodisiacs.html

Monday, November 7, 2011

Nothing Gold Can Stay

It's a known fact that men are fertile until the end of their lives and women are not. Many misconstrue this fact to say that men will be sexing for longer -- WRONG. Where women continue to explore their sexual desires and refine the art of the orgasm with a growing enthusiasm throughout their lives, males peak around eighteen years of age and go downhill from there. In fact, there is a 2% drop-off in testosterone production each year after men hit age thirty. The decrease in testosterone levels leads to a lower libido, changes in mood and emotions, a decrease in strength, loss of muscle tissue, and an increase in body fat. By the time you hit forty years of age, damn...do I even need to say the dreaded statistic for every male?

After age forty, men are two to three times more likely to have a lackluster sex drive, erectile dysfunction, and trouble with ejaculation and experiencing an orgasm.

The lesson here for young college men in their sexual peak: enjoy this time of your life now because it is short lived; going out every night and taking a different girl home is fun now. But how are you going to get random girls to come home with you when those perfect, seemingly invincible erections stop popping up so easily and that toned tight, youthful body starts to unravel? The point here, fellas, is not that you need to settle down with any girl that will still have you; just don’t let this stage of your life cancel out any chance of you settling down later (i.e., try not to get with every girl on the block because no girl wants to settle down with the guy that all of her friends have already seen naked). It wouldn’t be the worst idea for you to try to find a girl now or to just be conscious of the end goal. “Forever young” sounds nice but, unfortunately, those are only lyrics in a song; a more accurate quote: “nothing gold can stay.”

http://www.askmen.com/daily/austin_150/155_fashion_style.html