Tuesday, February 7, 2012

How to Find a Valentine

With Valentines Day just around the corner, the race is on to find the perfect date and avoid that annual shame ridden evening filled with stuffing your face full of self-bought chocolates and crying during a solo screening of The Notebook. But in a college town filled wit one-night stands and drunken make outs, it seems nearly impossible to accomplish the task. Here’s how to find a valentine before the 14th:

How to get a date?

1.Mr. Right is not by the bar: Look in places filled with genuine, down to earth guys who share interests with you. Try a new volunteer organization, or sign up for a co-ed sports teams, join the campus ski club, or go to the next social sponsored by the local Church or Synagogue. By looking for guys in places you know they will have similar interests as you, you are already a step closer to finding a guy who is right for you. Also, this will give you opportunities to actually get to know a guy without the haziness of a bar night.

2.Scream your singlehood from the rooftops: Not literally, well maybe, but letting your friends and even acquaintances know that you are single is the perfect first step towards meeting a nice guy. Your friends know you better than anyone, and you never know who they will have up your sleeve to set you up with. The more people who know you are looking for someone, the better chance you’ll have of finding someone.

3.Don’t be scared of rejection: Though it is important not to chase every single guy down who comes your way in order to remain desirable, guys happen to be pretty clueless when it comes to knowing a girl is into them. There is nothing wrong with taking the first step and simple asking a guy you’ve been talking to for a while to go grab coffee with you for a study break. As Hilary Duff once so eloquently put it, “why not, take a crazy chance!”

Monday, December 5, 2011

New Age, New Standards

Since the rise of the internet in the 1990s, it has bern integrated into our society and, in a lot of ways, has begun to define our culture. Today, most people have access to the Internet in their pocket – and we thought the telephone was revolutionary. Our culture has become fast-paced, dependent on immediate gratification, and more interconnected than ever before.

While these changes carry historical significance in terms of global communication, politics, and many other facets of life, it has also revolutionized dating. The first thing this notion might bring to mind is online dating; but more important than that is the impact that the Internet and constant connectivity has had on standards of courtship. When our generations’ parents were dating, they sat and waited by the phone, stared out the window at the mailbox, and went to school or the mall with the hope that they might run into the object of their affections. Our generation gets annoyed if someone you are interested in does not respond to your text message within five minutes of you sending it – heaven forbid they choose to read your message and not respond (you just got “R’ed”!). The ability to instantly connect to a person of romantic interest has a lot of advantages and disadvantages when it comes to courting. It cuts out the middle man of actually requiring someone to ask their romantic interest on a date. You can find out all the answers to your questions (major, hometown, family life, interests, hopes, dreams, plans, etc.) by simply reading a Facebook page instead of conversing over a meal or coffee.

By cutting out the necessity of face-to-face conversation that dating encompasses, there is a greater emphasis put on “hooking-up”. Countless studies show that one of the essential ingredients to forming a lasting relationship is intimacy, which involves a mutually satisfying, close relationship with another person. How can this increasingly popular culture of “hooking-up” possibly lead to intimacy?

The constant connectivity that characterizes our generation, for better or for worse, is not going to disappear; in fact, it will probably become even more prominent in our culture. The need for immediate gratification is a side-effect of constant connectivity; we expect to get what we want when we want it. Dependency on immediate gratification leads to hedonism becoming the norm in our culture; and living only for pleasure is not a lifestyle that encourages mutually respectful courting that ideally results in achieving intimacy with another person. Our parents’ generation courted by asking their romantic interest out on a date – an act that requires patience, planning, understanding, and, most importantly, time. Our generation courts by shooting a romantic interest an e-mail or text message asking about plans for the night in the hopes of seeing that person out at the bar. Has our generation become so immersed in immediate gratification and impersonal communication that the concept of dating will become extinct?

Long distance dating has never been easier and the divorce rates have never been higher. Our generation is the lab rat for the effects of constant connectivity and it is our challenge to create a positive outcome and set an example for the younger generations that are also growing up in this new age of connectivity. Dating is timeless and courting should be done personally – they have stood the test of time for this long. Don’t let our generation be the ones to erase them.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Offensive or Funny?

There is a fine line between something being offensive and something being funny – sometimes, it can be both! Everybody loves a good joke that is surprisingly true, definitely not politically correct, and makes you feel slightly uncomfortable to the point where you need to casually look to see who’s around you. But where do you draw the line?

The point where is stops being funny and becomes offensive usually arrives in the shape of the butt of the joke challenging the joke-maker or some kind of authority shutting down your joke. Worst case scenario: the cops.
Sure it’s kind of funny to pee on a building or moon someone with your bare behind out of a moving vehicle; no one is denying the offensive funniness of those choices. However, those decisions that seemed pretty darn hilarious with all of your friends and under the cover of night aren’t quite as funny when they land you on a sex offender registry.

General rule: don’t whip out anything that requires an undergarment (i.e. all things included under the blanket term, “private parts”) while in public – no matter how much it might seem like a good idea at the time.

Another very important notion to keep in mind is that “no” always means “NO”; and a “no” can be communicated in several ways. A verbal “no” is obvious in its meaning and it means that you should exit the situation immediately. A non-verbal “no” is harder to pick up on sometimes but one should always assume “no” until you verbally start to hear “yes” (with or without inflection). Anyone who has ever seen Law and Order: Special Victims Unit knows that you do not want to get caught up in a “he-said-she-said” situation. If your partner can not give consent (i.e. inebriated, mute, etc.), the answer is always no – doesn’t matter if it is your consistent booty-call or your spouse of fifty years (congratulations!), never make any assumptions because Olivia (and Elliot – why did he have to leave the show?!) will get justice for the victim.

An act as funny and seemingly insignificant as flashing or urinating outside can put you in the same category as someone who did something that is not funny all. Once you are a registered sex offender, anyone and everyone can find out that information about you by simply doing some research from anywhere with Internet access. You don’t want that; no one wants that. Be smart, keep your pants on (in public), and you might still have a shot at getting a job in this economy – maybe.


Monday, November 21, 2011

Thanking and Giving is Sexy

Thanksgiving is a time when family and friends strap on their elastic banded pants and gather to eat obscene amounts of delicious comfort food. It is understandable that this is the only day of the year when it is acceptable to consume turkey, stuffing, gravy, cranberry, yams, various side dishes, pies, etc. in one sitting. Why it is the one day of the year where it is acceptable to give thanks, however, is a mystery. The act of giving thanks can be appropriate in several contexts: thanking your mother for always being there for you, thanking your grandparents for the monetary donations over the years, thanking the armed forces for protecting you, and even thanking your lover.

“Thanksgiving” itself, with all of its connotations of family, friends, and food, might seem off-topic on a sex blog; who would want to be naked and in a sexual situation after eating a Thanksgiving meal? But if you break the word up, you can see how it is entirely applicable. To keep in order, let’s start with “thanks”. You are thankful to your lover for all that you receive from them; ranging from oral sex and late-night texts to cute presents and free meals; they can do things for you that you could do yourself but would much prefer someone else to do for you – and it ain’t a one-way street, people. When you are thankful to your grandmother, you give her a hug, kiss on the cheek, and call it a day. When you are thankful to your lover, on the other hand, it requires a little more “giving” on your part. There are 364 other days of the year where it is one hundred percent acceptable (and applaudable) for you to “return the favor” and give your lover a little thanks for all that they do for you.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Monday, November 14, 2011

Natural Aphrodisiacs for an All Natural Good Time

Many people who express a difficulty with reaching an orgasm or getting pleasure out of sexual acts turn straight to sex toys, pornography, and other man-created solutions to problems in the bedroom. These people are overlooking a much easier (and likely more cost efficient) solution; natural aphrodisiacs.

• Natural peppermint soap or shampoo: This scent can help women to reach an orgasm or to have multiple orgasms (woohoo!).

• Cinnamon: It doesn’t just spice up dishes in the kitchen; cinnamon has also proven itself to spice up sex lives and reduce the likelihood of a urinary tract infection (for women).

• Saw Palmetto (good for men): Studies show that it decreases the urgency to pee when you have an empty bladder, nourishes the prostate gland, increases the production of testosterone, and can slow down the appearance of male pattern baldness.

• Pumpkin Seeds: These are known to increase sex drive but also fertility; so, as always, be safe! The high levels of zinc found in these seeds that cause these effects can also be experienced by eating oysters – but pumpkin seeds are little easier to eat on a regular basis than slippery, slimy oysters.

• Spicy Foods and Wasabi: Similar to the effects of sex (perspiration, increased heart rate, etc.), spicy foods are rumored to serve as a natural aphrodisiac for some foreplay. Adding spicy wasabi to your sushi can lead to a hotter sexual encounter.

• Caviar: It might be smelly and made up of fish eggs but this hors d'oeuvre contains many vitamins that nourish nerve cells and increase pleasure – just brush your teeth, please.

• Vanilla, Patchouli, and Musk: All three of these scents (not combined together) promote and stimulate sexual feelings and arousal. The smell of musk might seem out of place on the list of scents to get your juices flowing; it is said to resemble the smell of testosterone and ignite sexual desires.

• Corn Starch: The sexual benefits from this ingredient do not come from consuming it; trickling corn starch onto the nude or semi-nude body creates an incredible sensation sure to drive your partner wild.

• Tomatoes: The juicy tomato is sensual to eat and to watch someone eat. A pair of plump lips pressed about a succulent, red tomato is sure to get your blood rising. Tomatoes can also help to calm pre-sex anxieties and improve muscle control.

• Avocados: In addition to the smooth and delicate texture of the inner avocado, they also provide a healthy source of vitamin E that hydrates and replenishes soft, sexy skin.

• Chocolate: A natural source of phenyl ethylamine, the chemical produced when feelings of love are felt, chocolate is also said to have similar feelings of satisfaction to the feelings felt after sexual intercourse. Chocolate is good, chocolate is great.

All of these aphrodisiacs can play a role in bettering your sexual experiences but the most important factor to remember is: it’s all in your head. Your mind is the most powerful factor in improving your sexual experience. Be imaginative, be safe, be smart, don’t be afraid to feel pleasure, and always, always remember that where there’s a will, there’s a way.

http://www.lifescript.com/life/sex/libido 10_natural_aphrodisiacs_to_turn_up_the_heat.aspx

Monday, November 7, 2011

Nothing Gold Can Stay

It's a known fact that men are fertile until the end of their lives and women are not. Many misconstrue this fact to say that men will be sexing for longer -- WRONG. Where women continue to explore their sexual desires and refine the art of the orgasm with a growing enthusiasm throughout their lives, males peak around eighteen years of age and go downhill from there. In fact, there is a 2% drop-off in testosterone production each year after men hit age thirty. The decrease in testosterone levels leads to a lower libido, changes in mood and emotions, a decrease in strength, loss of muscle tissue, and an increase in body fat. By the time you hit forty years of age, damn...do I even need to say the dreaded statistic for every male?

After age forty, men are two to three times more likely to have a lackluster sex drive, erectile dysfunction, and trouble with ejaculation and experiencing an orgasm.

The lesson here for young college men in their sexual peak: enjoy this time of your life now because it is short lived; going out every night and taking a different girl home is fun now. But how are you going to get random girls to come home with you when those perfect, seemingly invincible erections stop popping up so easily and that toned tight, youthful body starts to unravel? The point here, fellas, is not that you need to settle down with any girl that will still have you; just don’t let this stage of your life cancel out any chance of you settling down later (i.e., try not to get with every girl on the block because no girl wants to settle down with the guy that all of her friends have already seen naked). It wouldn’t be the worst idea for you to try to find a girl now or to just be conscious of the end goal. “Forever young” sounds nice but, unfortunately, those are only lyrics in a song; a more accurate quote: “nothing gold can stay.”


Monday, October 31, 2011

Freshman Girls

What is it about a freshman girl that screams, “I’m ready to make mistakes”? Is it their utter lack of exposure to contraband and horny frat guys prior to entering college? Or could it simply be that no one gave them the advice they needed to hear before graduating the safe bubble of high school and starting the crazy college lifestyle?

College guys – mostly upperclassmen and potentially future cradle-robbers – often joke saying, “freshman girls: get ‘em while they’re still skinny”. While that is a) funny and b) tragically true in many cases, it can also be worded as, “freshman girls: get ‘em while they still don’t know better”.

These eighteen-year-old girls walk into college wide-eyed and ready for new experiences – and somewhere right around the corner, there is someone ready to take advantage. Now, don’t take that as an incentive to stay in every night playing Words with Friends, casually eating chicken fingers and fries at the Hideaway, and steadily gaining the freshman fifteen. College, especially in a cool city such as Ann Arbor, has an infinite number of opportunities for you to be social and expand your horizons; but when you go out, maybe to a bar (18 and up, of course) or a fraternity party, don’t be an idiot. You might wonder, “Hmm…am I an idiot? What the hell would make me an idiot?” An idiotic freshman girl is someone you cannot recognize until you are no longer a freshman. She often drinks in excess and feels that because she and some rando-dude have been talking for five minutes and are now best friends, it is okay to accept illegal drugs from them or go to their room (for whatever stupid line he drops – i.e. better quality alcohol, to hang out, or to show you something).

Another idiot move is dormcest. What is dormcest, you ask? Its ‘dorm’ and ‘incest’ combined, you idiot; it is what you call hooking up with someone (or multiple someone’s) who live in your dorm. In theory, it has a few big benefits: minimal walk-of-shame (a real plus when it starts to get cold out), you don’t even have to go out to hook up, and you never have to worry about not being able to brush your teeth. Nine times out of ten, however, it does not work. Fact: it can and will get awkward. For awhile, dormcest is fun but things start to go downhill when you want to bring somebody else back with you and you run into your dormcestual partner; be prepared for that inevitable tricky turn of events when starting a dormcest relationship.

Idiotic freshman girls can also be found making a scene in a public place and probably sitting on the dirty sidewalk; i.e. “OMG…[sobbing/yelling] we hooked up one time and he said he would call and now I just saw him making out with that chick over there! I thought we were gonna be, like, boyfriend/girlfriend! [sobbing and more yelling in a public place] He SAID he liked me!”

Making a scene in public is really never going to be to your benefit – unless you challenge someone to a dance-off and win or something. It is especially disadvantageous when you are making a scene about something embarrassing for you, such as rejection or falling down. If something embarrassing happens and you are not in a good state of mind, just go home. Additionally, most guys in college do not want to be your boyfriend, in fact, you really shouldn’t want most of them to be your boyfriend – be selective, ladies. The dating scene these days usually follows a pretty formulaic pattern: you hook-up and then there is either some sort of follow through or not. If there is no follow through after you meet somebody or hook-up with them, they likely don’t like you.

So, please, for the sake of everyone around you; don’t be an idiot.