Since the rise of the internet in the 1990s, it has bern integrated into our society and, in a lot of ways, has begun to define our culture. Today, most people have access to the Internet in their pocket – and we thought the telephone was revolutionary. Our culture has become fast-paced, dependent on immediate gratification, and more interconnected than ever before.
While these changes carry historical significance in terms of global communication, politics, and many other facets of life, it has also revolutionized dating. The first thing this notion might bring to mind is online dating; but more important than that is the impact that the Internet and constant connectivity has had on standards of courtship. When our generations’ parents were dating, they sat and waited by the phone, stared out the window at the mailbox, and went to school or the mall with the hope that they might run into the object of their affections. Our generation gets annoyed if someone you are interested in does not respond to your text message within five minutes of you sending it – heaven forbid they choose to read your message and not respond (you just got “R’ed”!). The ability to instantly connect to a person of romantic interest has a lot of advantages and disadvantages when it comes to courting. It cuts out the middle man of actually requiring someone to ask their romantic interest on a date. You can find out all the answers to your questions (major, hometown, family life, interests, hopes, dreams, plans, etc.) by simply reading a Facebook page instead of conversing over a meal or coffee.
By cutting out the necessity of face-to-face conversation that dating encompasses, there is a greater emphasis put on “hooking-up”. Countless studies show that one of the essential ingredients to forming a lasting relationship is intimacy, which involves a mutually satisfying, close relationship with another person. How can this increasingly popular culture of “hooking-up” possibly lead to intimacy?
The constant connectivity that characterizes our generation, for better or for worse, is not going to disappear; in fact, it will probably become even more prominent in our culture. The need for immediate gratification is a side-effect of constant connectivity; we expect to get what we want when we want it. Dependency on immediate gratification leads to hedonism becoming the norm in our culture; and living only for pleasure is not a lifestyle that encourages mutually respectful courting that ideally results in achieving intimacy with another person. Our parents’ generation courted by asking their romantic interest out on a date – an act that requires patience, planning, understanding, and, most importantly, time. Our generation courts by shooting a romantic interest an e-mail or text message asking about plans for the night in the hopes of seeing that person out at the bar. Has our generation become so immersed in immediate gratification and impersonal communication that the concept of dating will become extinct?
Long distance dating has never been easier and the divorce rates have never been higher. Our generation is the lab rat for the effects of constant connectivity and it is our challenge to create a positive outcome and set an example for the younger generations that are also growing up in this new age of connectivity. Dating is timeless and courting should be done personally – they have stood the test of time for this long. Don’t let our generation be the ones to erase them.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
Offensive or Funny?
There is a fine line between something being offensive and something being funny – sometimes, it can be both! Everybody loves a good joke that is surprisingly true, definitely not politically correct, and makes you feel slightly uncomfortable to the point where you need to casually look to see who’s around you. But where do you draw the line?
The point where is stops being funny and becomes offensive usually arrives in the shape of the butt of the joke challenging the joke-maker or some kind of authority shutting down your joke. Worst case scenario: the cops.
Sure it’s kind of funny to pee on a building or moon someone with your bare behind out of a moving vehicle; no one is denying the offensive funniness of those choices. However, those decisions that seemed pretty darn hilarious with all of your friends and under the cover of night aren’t quite as funny when they land you on a sex offender registry.
General rule: don’t whip out anything that requires an undergarment (i.e. all things included under the blanket term, “private parts”) while in public – no matter how much it might seem like a good idea at the time.
Another very important notion to keep in mind is that “no” always means “NO”; and a “no” can be communicated in several ways. A verbal “no” is obvious in its meaning and it means that you should exit the situation immediately. A non-verbal “no” is harder to pick up on sometimes but one should always assume “no” until you verbally start to hear “yes” (with or without inflection). Anyone who has ever seen Law and Order: Special Victims Unit knows that you do not want to get caught up in a “he-said-she-said” situation. If your partner can not give consent (i.e. inebriated, mute, etc.), the answer is always no – doesn’t matter if it is your consistent booty-call or your spouse of fifty years (congratulations!), never make any assumptions because Olivia (and Elliot – why did he have to leave the show?!) will get justice for the victim.
An act as funny and seemingly insignificant as flashing or urinating outside can put you in the same category as someone who did something that is not funny all. Once you are a registered sex offender, anyone and everyone can find out that information about you by simply doing some research from anywhere with Internet access. You don’t want that; no one wants that. Be smart, keep your pants on (in public), and you might still have a shot at getting a job in this economy – maybe.
http://www.nsopw.gov/Core/Portal.aspx
http://www.familywatchdog.us/
The point where is stops being funny and becomes offensive usually arrives in the shape of the butt of the joke challenging the joke-maker or some kind of authority shutting down your joke. Worst case scenario: the cops.
Sure it’s kind of funny to pee on a building or moon someone with your bare behind out of a moving vehicle; no one is denying the offensive funniness of those choices. However, those decisions that seemed pretty darn hilarious with all of your friends and under the cover of night aren’t quite as funny when they land you on a sex offender registry.
General rule: don’t whip out anything that requires an undergarment (i.e. all things included under the blanket term, “private parts”) while in public – no matter how much it might seem like a good idea at the time.
Another very important notion to keep in mind is that “no” always means “NO”; and a “no” can be communicated in several ways. A verbal “no” is obvious in its meaning and it means that you should exit the situation immediately. A non-verbal “no” is harder to pick up on sometimes but one should always assume “no” until you verbally start to hear “yes” (with or without inflection). Anyone who has ever seen Law and Order: Special Victims Unit knows that you do not want to get caught up in a “he-said-she-said” situation. If your partner can not give consent (i.e. inebriated, mute, etc.), the answer is always no – doesn’t matter if it is your consistent booty-call or your spouse of fifty years (congratulations!), never make any assumptions because Olivia (and Elliot – why did he have to leave the show?!) will get justice for the victim.
An act as funny and seemingly insignificant as flashing or urinating outside can put you in the same category as someone who did something that is not funny all. Once you are a registered sex offender, anyone and everyone can find out that information about you by simply doing some research from anywhere with Internet access. You don’t want that; no one wants that. Be smart, keep your pants on (in public), and you might still have a shot at getting a job in this economy – maybe.
http://www.nsopw.gov/Core/Portal.aspx
http://www.familywatchdog.us/
Monday, November 21, 2011
Thanking and Giving is Sexy
Thanksgiving is a time when family and friends strap on their elastic banded pants and gather to eat obscene amounts of delicious comfort food. It is understandable that this is the only day of the year when it is acceptable to consume turkey, stuffing, gravy, cranberry, yams, various side dishes, pies, etc. in one sitting. Why it is the one day of the year where it is acceptable to give thanks, however, is a mystery. The act of giving thanks can be appropriate in several contexts: thanking your mother for always being there for you, thanking your grandparents for the monetary donations over the years, thanking the armed forces for protecting you, and even thanking your lover.
“Thanksgiving” itself, with all of its connotations of family, friends, and food, might seem off-topic on a sex blog; who would want to be naked and in a sexual situation after eating a Thanksgiving meal? But if you break the word up, you can see how it is entirely applicable. To keep in order, let’s start with “thanks”. You are thankful to your lover for all that you receive from them; ranging from oral sex and late-night texts to cute presents and free meals; they can do things for you that you could do yourself but would much prefer someone else to do for you – and it ain’t a one-way street, people. When you are thankful to your grandmother, you give her a hug, kiss on the cheek, and call it a day. When you are thankful to your lover, on the other hand, it requires a little more “giving” on your part. There are 364 other days of the year where it is one hundred percent acceptable (and applaudable) for you to “return the favor” and give your lover a little thanks for all that they do for you.
Happy Thanksgiving!
“Thanksgiving” itself, with all of its connotations of family, friends, and food, might seem off-topic on a sex blog; who would want to be naked and in a sexual situation after eating a Thanksgiving meal? But if you break the word up, you can see how it is entirely applicable. To keep in order, let’s start with “thanks”. You are thankful to your lover for all that you receive from them; ranging from oral sex and late-night texts to cute presents and free meals; they can do things for you that you could do yourself but would much prefer someone else to do for you – and it ain’t a one-way street, people. When you are thankful to your grandmother, you give her a hug, kiss on the cheek, and call it a day. When you are thankful to your lover, on the other hand, it requires a little more “giving” on your part. There are 364 other days of the year where it is one hundred percent acceptable (and applaudable) for you to “return the favor” and give your lover a little thanks for all that they do for you.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Monday, November 14, 2011
Natural Aphrodisiacs for an All Natural Good Time
Many people who express a difficulty with reaching an orgasm or getting pleasure out of sexual acts turn straight to sex toys, pornography, and other man-created solutions to problems in the bedroom. These people are overlooking a much easier (and likely more cost efficient) solution; natural aphrodisiacs.
• Natural peppermint soap or shampoo: This scent can help women to reach an orgasm or to have multiple orgasms (woohoo!).
• Cinnamon: It doesn’t just spice up dishes in the kitchen; cinnamon has also proven itself to spice up sex lives and reduce the likelihood of a urinary tract infection (for women).
• Saw Palmetto (good for men): Studies show that it decreases the urgency to pee when you have an empty bladder, nourishes the prostate gland, increases the production of testosterone, and can slow down the appearance of male pattern baldness.
• Pumpkin Seeds: These are known to increase sex drive but also fertility; so, as always, be safe! The high levels of zinc found in these seeds that cause these effects can also be experienced by eating oysters – but pumpkin seeds are little easier to eat on a regular basis than slippery, slimy oysters.
• Spicy Foods and Wasabi: Similar to the effects of sex (perspiration, increased heart rate, etc.), spicy foods are rumored to serve as a natural aphrodisiac for some foreplay. Adding spicy wasabi to your sushi can lead to a hotter sexual encounter.
• Caviar: It might be smelly and made up of fish eggs but this hors d'oeuvre contains many vitamins that nourish nerve cells and increase pleasure – just brush your teeth, please.
• Vanilla, Patchouli, and Musk: All three of these scents (not combined together) promote and stimulate sexual feelings and arousal. The smell of musk might seem out of place on the list of scents to get your juices flowing; it is said to resemble the smell of testosterone and ignite sexual desires.
• Corn Starch: The sexual benefits from this ingredient do not come from consuming it; trickling corn starch onto the nude or semi-nude body creates an incredible sensation sure to drive your partner wild.
• Tomatoes: The juicy tomato is sensual to eat and to watch someone eat. A pair of plump lips pressed about a succulent, red tomato is sure to get your blood rising. Tomatoes can also help to calm pre-sex anxieties and improve muscle control.
• Avocados: In addition to the smooth and delicate texture of the inner avocado, they also provide a healthy source of vitamin E that hydrates and replenishes soft, sexy skin.
• Chocolate: A natural source of phenyl ethylamine, the chemical produced when feelings of love are felt, chocolate is also said to have similar feelings of satisfaction to the feelings felt after sexual intercourse. Chocolate is good, chocolate is great.
All of these aphrodisiacs can play a role in bettering your sexual experiences but the most important factor to remember is: it’s all in your head. Your mind is the most powerful factor in improving your sexual experience. Be imaginative, be safe, be smart, don’t be afraid to feel pleasure, and always, always remember that where there’s a will, there’s a way.
http://www.lifescript.com/life/sex/libido 10_natural_aphrodisiacs_to_turn_up_the_heat.aspx
http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip/55_love_tip.html
http://planetgreen.discovery.com/food-health/green-sex-natural-aphrodisiacs.html
• Natural peppermint soap or shampoo: This scent can help women to reach an orgasm or to have multiple orgasms (woohoo!).
• Cinnamon: It doesn’t just spice up dishes in the kitchen; cinnamon has also proven itself to spice up sex lives and reduce the likelihood of a urinary tract infection (for women).
• Saw Palmetto (good for men): Studies show that it decreases the urgency to pee when you have an empty bladder, nourishes the prostate gland, increases the production of testosterone, and can slow down the appearance of male pattern baldness.
• Pumpkin Seeds: These are known to increase sex drive but also fertility; so, as always, be safe! The high levels of zinc found in these seeds that cause these effects can also be experienced by eating oysters – but pumpkin seeds are little easier to eat on a regular basis than slippery, slimy oysters.
• Spicy Foods and Wasabi: Similar to the effects of sex (perspiration, increased heart rate, etc.), spicy foods are rumored to serve as a natural aphrodisiac for some foreplay. Adding spicy wasabi to your sushi can lead to a hotter sexual encounter.
• Caviar: It might be smelly and made up of fish eggs but this hors d'oeuvre contains many vitamins that nourish nerve cells and increase pleasure – just brush your teeth, please.
• Vanilla, Patchouli, and Musk: All three of these scents (not combined together) promote and stimulate sexual feelings and arousal. The smell of musk might seem out of place on the list of scents to get your juices flowing; it is said to resemble the smell of testosterone and ignite sexual desires.
• Corn Starch: The sexual benefits from this ingredient do not come from consuming it; trickling corn starch onto the nude or semi-nude body creates an incredible sensation sure to drive your partner wild.
• Tomatoes: The juicy tomato is sensual to eat and to watch someone eat. A pair of plump lips pressed about a succulent, red tomato is sure to get your blood rising. Tomatoes can also help to calm pre-sex anxieties and improve muscle control.
• Avocados: In addition to the smooth and delicate texture of the inner avocado, they also provide a healthy source of vitamin E that hydrates and replenishes soft, sexy skin.
• Chocolate: A natural source of phenyl ethylamine, the chemical produced when feelings of love are felt, chocolate is also said to have similar feelings of satisfaction to the feelings felt after sexual intercourse. Chocolate is good, chocolate is great.
All of these aphrodisiacs can play a role in bettering your sexual experiences but the most important factor to remember is: it’s all in your head. Your mind is the most powerful factor in improving your sexual experience. Be imaginative, be safe, be smart, don’t be afraid to feel pleasure, and always, always remember that where there’s a will, there’s a way.
http://www.lifescript.com/life/sex/libido 10_natural_aphrodisiacs_to_turn_up_the_heat.aspx
http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip/55_love_tip.html
http://planetgreen.discovery.com/food-health/green-sex-natural-aphrodisiacs.html
Monday, November 7, 2011
Nothing Gold Can Stay
It's a known fact that men are fertile until the end of their lives and women are not. Many misconstrue this fact to say that men will be sexing for longer -- WRONG. Where women continue to explore their sexual desires and refine the art of the orgasm with a growing enthusiasm throughout their lives, males peak around eighteen years of age and go downhill from there. In fact, there is a 2% drop-off in testosterone production each year after men hit age thirty. The decrease in testosterone levels leads to a lower libido, changes in mood and emotions, a decrease in strength, loss of muscle tissue, and an increase in body fat. By the time you hit forty years of age, damn...do I even need to say the dreaded statistic for every male?
After age forty, men are two to three times more likely to have a lackluster sex drive, erectile dysfunction, and trouble with ejaculation and experiencing an orgasm.
The lesson here for young college men in their sexual peak: enjoy this time of your life now because it is short lived; going out every night and taking a different girl home is fun now. But how are you going to get random girls to come home with you when those perfect, seemingly invincible erections stop popping up so easily and that toned tight, youthful body starts to unravel? The point here, fellas, is not that you need to settle down with any girl that will still have you; just don’t let this stage of your life cancel out any chance of you settling down later (i.e., try not to get with every girl on the block because no girl wants to settle down with the guy that all of her friends have already seen naked). It wouldn’t be the worst idea for you to try to find a girl now or to just be conscious of the end goal. “Forever young” sounds nice but, unfortunately, those are only lyrics in a song; a more accurate quote: “nothing gold can stay.”
http://www.askmen.com/daily/austin_150/155_fashion_style.html
After age forty, men are two to three times more likely to have a lackluster sex drive, erectile dysfunction, and trouble with ejaculation and experiencing an orgasm.
The lesson here for young college men in their sexual peak: enjoy this time of your life now because it is short lived; going out every night and taking a different girl home is fun now. But how are you going to get random girls to come home with you when those perfect, seemingly invincible erections stop popping up so easily and that toned tight, youthful body starts to unravel? The point here, fellas, is not that you need to settle down with any girl that will still have you; just don’t let this stage of your life cancel out any chance of you settling down later (i.e., try not to get with every girl on the block because no girl wants to settle down with the guy that all of her friends have already seen naked). It wouldn’t be the worst idea for you to try to find a girl now or to just be conscious of the end goal. “Forever young” sounds nice but, unfortunately, those are only lyrics in a song; a more accurate quote: “nothing gold can stay.”
http://www.askmen.com/daily/austin_150/155_fashion_style.html
Monday, October 31, 2011
Freshman Girls
What is it about a freshman girl that screams, “I’m ready to make mistakes”? Is it their utter lack of exposure to contraband and horny frat guys prior to entering college? Or could it simply be that no one gave them the advice they needed to hear before graduating the safe bubble of high school and starting the crazy college lifestyle?
College guys – mostly upperclassmen and potentially future cradle-robbers – often joke saying, “freshman girls: get ‘em while they’re still skinny”. While that is a) funny and b) tragically true in many cases, it can also be worded as, “freshman girls: get ‘em while they still don’t know better”.
These eighteen-year-old girls walk into college wide-eyed and ready for new experiences – and somewhere right around the corner, there is someone ready to take advantage. Now, don’t take that as an incentive to stay in every night playing Words with Friends, casually eating chicken fingers and fries at the Hideaway, and steadily gaining the freshman fifteen. College, especially in a cool city such as Ann Arbor, has an infinite number of opportunities for you to be social and expand your horizons; but when you go out, maybe to a bar (18 and up, of course) or a fraternity party, don’t be an idiot. You might wonder, “Hmm…am I an idiot? What the hell would make me an idiot?” An idiotic freshman girl is someone you cannot recognize until you are no longer a freshman. She often drinks in excess and feels that because she and some rando-dude have been talking for five minutes and are now best friends, it is okay to accept illegal drugs from them or go to their room (for whatever stupid line he drops – i.e. better quality alcohol, to hang out, or to show you something).
Another idiot move is dormcest. What is dormcest, you ask? Its ‘dorm’ and ‘incest’ combined, you idiot; it is what you call hooking up with someone (or multiple someone’s) who live in your dorm. In theory, it has a few big benefits: minimal walk-of-shame (a real plus when it starts to get cold out), you don’t even have to go out to hook up, and you never have to worry about not being able to brush your teeth. Nine times out of ten, however, it does not work. Fact: it can and will get awkward. For awhile, dormcest is fun but things start to go downhill when you want to bring somebody else back with you and you run into your dormcestual partner; be prepared for that inevitable tricky turn of events when starting a dormcest relationship.
Idiotic freshman girls can also be found making a scene in a public place and probably sitting on the dirty sidewalk; i.e. “OMG…[sobbing/yelling] we hooked up one time and he said he would call and now I just saw him making out with that chick over there! I thought we were gonna be, like, boyfriend/girlfriend! [sobbing and more yelling in a public place] He SAID he liked me!”
Making a scene in public is really never going to be to your benefit – unless you challenge someone to a dance-off and win or something. It is especially disadvantageous when you are making a scene about something embarrassing for you, such as rejection or falling down. If something embarrassing happens and you are not in a good state of mind, just go home. Additionally, most guys in college do not want to be your boyfriend, in fact, you really shouldn’t want most of them to be your boyfriend – be selective, ladies. The dating scene these days usually follows a pretty formulaic pattern: you hook-up and then there is either some sort of follow through or not. If there is no follow through after you meet somebody or hook-up with them, they likely don’t like you.
So, please, for the sake of everyone around you; don’t be an idiot.
College guys – mostly upperclassmen and potentially future cradle-robbers – often joke saying, “freshman girls: get ‘em while they’re still skinny”. While that is a) funny and b) tragically true in many cases, it can also be worded as, “freshman girls: get ‘em while they still don’t know better”.
These eighteen-year-old girls walk into college wide-eyed and ready for new experiences – and somewhere right around the corner, there is someone ready to take advantage. Now, don’t take that as an incentive to stay in every night playing Words with Friends, casually eating chicken fingers and fries at the Hideaway, and steadily gaining the freshman fifteen. College, especially in a cool city such as Ann Arbor, has an infinite number of opportunities for you to be social and expand your horizons; but when you go out, maybe to a bar (18 and up, of course) or a fraternity party, don’t be an idiot. You might wonder, “Hmm…am I an idiot? What the hell would make me an idiot?” An idiotic freshman girl is someone you cannot recognize until you are no longer a freshman. She often drinks in excess and feels that because she and some rando-dude have been talking for five minutes and are now best friends, it is okay to accept illegal drugs from them or go to their room (for whatever stupid line he drops – i.e. better quality alcohol, to hang out, or to show you something).
Another idiot move is dormcest. What is dormcest, you ask? Its ‘dorm’ and ‘incest’ combined, you idiot; it is what you call hooking up with someone (or multiple someone’s) who live in your dorm. In theory, it has a few big benefits: minimal walk-of-shame (a real plus when it starts to get cold out), you don’t even have to go out to hook up, and you never have to worry about not being able to brush your teeth. Nine times out of ten, however, it does not work. Fact: it can and will get awkward. For awhile, dormcest is fun but things start to go downhill when you want to bring somebody else back with you and you run into your dormcestual partner; be prepared for that inevitable tricky turn of events when starting a dormcest relationship.
Idiotic freshman girls can also be found making a scene in a public place and probably sitting on the dirty sidewalk; i.e. “OMG…[sobbing/yelling] we hooked up one time and he said he would call and now I just saw him making out with that chick over there! I thought we were gonna be, like, boyfriend/girlfriend! [sobbing and more yelling in a public place] He SAID he liked me!”
Making a scene in public is really never going to be to your benefit – unless you challenge someone to a dance-off and win or something. It is especially disadvantageous when you are making a scene about something embarrassing for you, such as rejection or falling down. If something embarrassing happens and you are not in a good state of mind, just go home. Additionally, most guys in college do not want to be your boyfriend, in fact, you really shouldn’t want most of them to be your boyfriend – be selective, ladies. The dating scene these days usually follows a pretty formulaic pattern: you hook-up and then there is either some sort of follow through or not. If there is no follow through after you meet somebody or hook-up with them, they likely don’t like you.
So, please, for the sake of everyone around you; don’t be an idiot.
Monday, October 24, 2011
“Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.” – Mean Girls
Halloween weekend is just around the corner and that means at least three to four nights of celebration. Awesome, right? What it really means is three to four nights of having to find different costumes and on each night you are faced with the ultimate question, “should I go slutty?”(Plus having some back-up costume options for the likely case that someone else is wearing the same costume as you, of course).
For guys, coming up with Halloween costumes is easy; recycle from last year, come up with a clever title for anything that allows you to wear a jacket, find some way to expose your muscles, make up any excuse to grow out your facial hair. It almost does not matter what you wear as long as you are not dressed up as a hotdog or some other hard-to-dance-in-costume on a night that you are trying to hook up with someone (or some people).
When it comes to girls, sorry, Halloween costumes are not so simple. The choice between dressing up in a non-original, slutty costume and a clever, non-revealing costume is a tough one. Extensive research results show, however, that you will get just as much play wearing sexy lingerie topped with bunny ears as you will wearing a Bob Marley t-shirt and a pot on your head. On the other hand, if you do not have a lot going for you other than a smoking bod and aren’t actually clever enough to come up with a funny costume that is still kind of cute, you might want to stick with the tried and true method of dressing like a total, unoriginal slut (i.e. devil/angel, firefighter, police officer, small animal, nurse, schoolgirl, etc.) because, after all, it is the one night of the year where (almost) no other girls can say anything about it.
*Disclaimer: this blog post refers to extensive research that is completely, one hundred percent based on personal observation (definitely not experience)
For guys, coming up with Halloween costumes is easy; recycle from last year, come up with a clever title for anything that allows you to wear a jacket, find some way to expose your muscles, make up any excuse to grow out your facial hair. It almost does not matter what you wear as long as you are not dressed up as a hotdog or some other hard-to-dance-in-costume on a night that you are trying to hook up with someone (or some people).
When it comes to girls, sorry, Halloween costumes are not so simple. The choice between dressing up in a non-original, slutty costume and a clever, non-revealing costume is a tough one. Extensive research results show, however, that you will get just as much play wearing sexy lingerie topped with bunny ears as you will wearing a Bob Marley t-shirt and a pot on your head. On the other hand, if you do not have a lot going for you other than a smoking bod and aren’t actually clever enough to come up with a funny costume that is still kind of cute, you might want to stick with the tried and true method of dressing like a total, unoriginal slut (i.e. devil/angel, firefighter, police officer, small animal, nurse, schoolgirl, etc.) because, after all, it is the one night of the year where (almost) no other girls can say anything about it.
*Disclaimer: this blog post refers to extensive research that is completely, one hundred percent based on personal observation (definitely not experience)
Monday, October 10, 2011
‘Bongs and Thongs’ Still in Progress
If you’ve been strolling around East Liberty Street near Fourth Avenue recently, you may have seen where the new head shop/sex store, ‘Bongs and Thongs’, was supposed to open at the end of this past July. However, construction of the retail store has been halted due to a zoning issue that concerns its product. The city ordinance forbids the sale of “devices of simulated human genitals or devices designed for sexual stimulation” in that particular district of downtown Ann Arbor.
Right off the bat, you would think that the real issue with opening this store would be what the ‘Bongs’ part of the title entails; but apparently that is not the case. Ann Arbor is known for its quirkiness and general liberal environment; full of unique Ann Arbor townies, farmer’s markets, vintage stores, clothing boutiques, the ‘Safe Sex Store’ right off campus, as well as a number of other eccentric establishments scattered throughout Kerrytown and downtown. The addition of ‘Bongs and Thongs’ fits in quite nicely with the accepting atmosphere that the locals and students alike have embraced here in Ann Arbor. The city and their ordinances that keep stores like ‘Bongs and Thongs’ from opening and bars such as ‘5th Quarter’ and ‘Studio 4’ (currently under the name of ‘Dream Nite Club’) from operating are, in the words of Harry Potter, “riddikulus!”.
Finishing construction and finally unveiling ‘Bongs and Thongs’ as a retail option for those shoppers who grimace at the thought of trekking across the Diag from the ‘Safe Sex Store’ to ’42 Degrees’ (because, let’s face it, their selection is much better than ‘Smoka Hookah’) will be a light at the end of a long tunnel. The introduction of an alternative to the ‘Safe Sex Store’ will be a welcome change to sexually active/curious/bored students and locals. In accordance with the stipulations about their merchandise, ‘Bongs and Thongs’ (when it eventually opens at 119 E. Liberty Street) will feature: hookah products, hand-blown glass tobacco products, hose cleaners, decorations, incense, posters, games, massage lotions and oils, body jewelry, party supplies, lubrication and beauty supplies. ‘Bongs and Thongs’ – the name says it all.
News articles on the topic:
http://www.annarbor.com/business-review/bongs-thongs-head-shop-and-sex-store-to-open-in-former-liberty-street-video-in-downtown-ann-arbor/
http://www.annarbor.com/news/top-5-signs-that-bongs-thongs-proves-that-downtown-ann-arbor-is-at-a-crossroad/
http://www.annarbor.com/business-review/construction-on-bongs-thongs-retailer-delayed-amid-zoning-concerns-from-the-city/
http://www.michigandaily.com/opinion/daily-thongs-and-bongs
http://annarbor.com/business-review/bongs-thongs-reminds-downtown-ann-arbor-of-former-red-light-district-as-city-blocks-sex-toys/
Right off the bat, you would think that the real issue with opening this store would be what the ‘Bongs’ part of the title entails; but apparently that is not the case. Ann Arbor is known for its quirkiness and general liberal environment; full of unique Ann Arbor townies, farmer’s markets, vintage stores, clothing boutiques, the ‘Safe Sex Store’ right off campus, as well as a number of other eccentric establishments scattered throughout Kerrytown and downtown. The addition of ‘Bongs and Thongs’ fits in quite nicely with the accepting atmosphere that the locals and students alike have embraced here in Ann Arbor. The city and their ordinances that keep stores like ‘Bongs and Thongs’ from opening and bars such as ‘5th Quarter’ and ‘Studio 4’ (currently under the name of ‘Dream Nite Club’) from operating are, in the words of Harry Potter, “riddikulus!”.
Finishing construction and finally unveiling ‘Bongs and Thongs’ as a retail option for those shoppers who grimace at the thought of trekking across the Diag from the ‘Safe Sex Store’ to ’42 Degrees’ (because, let’s face it, their selection is much better than ‘Smoka Hookah’) will be a light at the end of a long tunnel. The introduction of an alternative to the ‘Safe Sex Store’ will be a welcome change to sexually active/curious/bored students and locals. In accordance with the stipulations about their merchandise, ‘Bongs and Thongs’ (when it eventually opens at 119 E. Liberty Street) will feature: hookah products, hand-blown glass tobacco products, hose cleaners, decorations, incense, posters, games, massage lotions and oils, body jewelry, party supplies, lubrication and beauty supplies. ‘Bongs and Thongs’ – the name says it all.
News articles on the topic:
http://www.annarbor.com/business-review/bongs-thongs-head-shop-and-sex-store-to-open-in-former-liberty-street-video-in-downtown-ann-arbor/
http://www.annarbor.com/news/top-5-signs-that-bongs-thongs-proves-that-downtown-ann-arbor-is-at-a-crossroad/
http://www.annarbor.com/business-review/construction-on-bongs-thongs-retailer-delayed-amid-zoning-concerns-from-the-city/
http://www.michigandaily.com/opinion/daily-thongs-and-bongs
http://annarbor.com/business-review/bongs-thongs-reminds-downtown-ann-arbor-of-former-red-light-district-as-city-blocks-sex-toys/
Monday, October 3, 2011
Perfect for the Pickiest Dater
The life of a college student or recent graduate is busy and full of stress during these tough economic times. Finding a job should be the greatest challenge you face today – not finding a date. Luckily, this competitive job market and struggling economy are coupled with the introduction of a new kind of dating website; the ability to specify what university you prefer your partner to come from, what subject they major in (or teach?!), and even what type of relationship you are looking for (one-night-stand, actual dinner date, potential boyfriend/girlfriend, someone who actually wants to talk to you other than your therapist, etc.) is finally at your fingertips. Most importantly for eighteen to twenty something year olds when it comes to online dating is…having no one find out that you are online dating! Nothing is sadder then all of your friends finding out about your JDate and eHarmony accounts; so even though you clearly created them because you’re looking for a wider range of people to hook up with, it’s still frowned upon. Yet, it’s totally socially acceptable for you to wear your hottest, sluttiest outfits out on a thirsty Thursday night at Dream when you are looking to get some but when you try finding some potential hook ups online – it’s just not cool.
Cut to – the introduction of DateMySchool.com onto your social radar here at Michigan. Going to the same old bars and seeing the same old people is getting tired; it’s time for a change that will make a difference. Recycling to save the environment is really “in” right now; recycling through all of your friends’ past hook ups, on the other hand, is not. It’s time to widen the selection of potential hook ups without making a huge effort to expand your social scene or take time away from more important things. If you thought Facebook was revolutionary; this could be the next big thing.
http://datemyschool.com/
Watch the video advertisement on the homepage!
Cut to – the introduction of DateMySchool.com onto your social radar here at Michigan. Going to the same old bars and seeing the same old people is getting tired; it’s time for a change that will make a difference. Recycling to save the environment is really “in” right now; recycling through all of your friends’ past hook ups, on the other hand, is not. It’s time to widen the selection of potential hook ups without making a huge effort to expand your social scene or take time away from more important things. If you thought Facebook was revolutionary; this could be the next big thing.
http://datemyschool.com/
Watch the video advertisement on the homepage!
Monday, September 26, 2011
Rules of Hooking-Up in College: Who's Acceptable?
It’s always been clear to both sexes that hooking up with a younger girl or hooking up with an older guy is acceptable. Research actually shows that older men who father children with younger women increase the lifespan of their offspring. From an evolutionary standpoint, older men represent security and a multitude of resources to eligible younger women so it is no surprise that the practice of older men dating younger women has become a common occurrence.
In terms of college life, a freshman guy starts out at the bottom of the hook-up hierarchy and has the next four years of chasing tail to look forward too because their pool of options continues to grow. Every year new classes of freshmen girls arrive to replace the last class; creating the image that hot, new girls keep arriving on campus while you, as a guy, get progressively more filled-out and more attractive to the young, naïve coeds.
But what about when those coveted freshmen girls enter into their sophomore slump? Or when they eventually become SENIOR GIRLS?! The selection of girls for college guys is constantly growing while the selection pool for college girls quickly becomes an evaporated puddle. As a college coed makes her way up the ranks in college, she has two acceptable options: lockdown a boyfriend within the first two years as an underclassman or start dipping into the pool of younger college boys.
Five Rules of Robbing the Cradle:
1. Don’t go back to their dorm or their fraternity house – too many other younger guys there will see you and you DON’T want to get a reputation as that-older-girl-that-gets-with-all-the-younger-guys
2. Unless you really like the young fella, keep strict hook-up etiquette – no dates, nothing but late-night texts, and avoid seeing them during daylight hours at all costs
3. If you plan on nabbing a freshman boy before he gets a bid to a frat, BEWARE: Your frat star ex-boyfriend could end up turning your NEW boyfriend into dead, (not fresh), meat– and you’ll probably get mocked for it at skeeps
4. DON’T keep mentioning his age difference during your hot and (somewhat) shameful hookups. Like a pink elephant in the room, there is no need to mention the fact that while you are driving your friends’ cars from your apartment to Hillers to get your meals, he is taking the bus from Bursley to MoJo to get his
5. Keep his phone number. In five years, hooking up with him might have actually become acceptable
Regardless of society and evolution frowning upon older girls hooking up with younger guys, nothing can spoil the fun of hooking up in college. When in doubt, everybody looks the same in the dark (just make sure they are over eighteen).
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20822095/ns/health-livescience/t/older-man-younger-woman-good-all/#.TnvJj-yMZAo
In terms of college life, a freshman guy starts out at the bottom of the hook-up hierarchy and has the next four years of chasing tail to look forward too because their pool of options continues to grow. Every year new classes of freshmen girls arrive to replace the last class; creating the image that hot, new girls keep arriving on campus while you, as a guy, get progressively more filled-out and more attractive to the young, naïve coeds.
But what about when those coveted freshmen girls enter into their sophomore slump? Or when they eventually become SENIOR GIRLS?! The selection of girls for college guys is constantly growing while the selection pool for college girls quickly becomes an evaporated puddle. As a college coed makes her way up the ranks in college, she has two acceptable options: lockdown a boyfriend within the first two years as an underclassman or start dipping into the pool of younger college boys.
Five Rules of Robbing the Cradle:
1. Don’t go back to their dorm or their fraternity house – too many other younger guys there will see you and you DON’T want to get a reputation as that-older-girl-that-gets-with-all-the-younger-guys
2. Unless you really like the young fella, keep strict hook-up etiquette – no dates, nothing but late-night texts, and avoid seeing them during daylight hours at all costs
3. If you plan on nabbing a freshman boy before he gets a bid to a frat, BEWARE: Your frat star ex-boyfriend could end up turning your NEW boyfriend into dead, (not fresh), meat– and you’ll probably get mocked for it at skeeps
4. DON’T keep mentioning his age difference during your hot and (somewhat) shameful hookups. Like a pink elephant in the room, there is no need to mention the fact that while you are driving your friends’ cars from your apartment to Hillers to get your meals, he is taking the bus from Bursley to MoJo to get his
5. Keep his phone number. In five years, hooking up with him might have actually become acceptable
Regardless of society and evolution frowning upon older girls hooking up with younger guys, nothing can spoil the fun of hooking up in college. When in doubt, everybody looks the same in the dark (just make sure they are over eighteen).
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20822095/ns/health-livescience/t/older-man-younger-woman-good-all/#.TnvJj-yMZAo
Monday, March 28, 2011
Where in the World is a Big Carmen San Dickago
An interesting article caught my eye today about penis sizes around the world. If you’re looking to study abroad or visit, let’s just say Asia for example, you should know that they have, on average, the smallest penises in the world. For a guy, that could be great – you’ve never looked more endowed in your life. Congrats! For a girl, however, it might be something to take into consideration.
Additionally, it seems as though the expression “once you go black, you never go back” may be based on truth. Africa, on average, is home to some of the largest human, male penises in the world.
If you’re interested in further exploring another factor that can weigh into your next vacation destination or study abroad location, check out the link and learn more about penis size around the world.
http://www.globalpost.com/dispatches/globalpost-blogs/the-rice-bowl/penis-size-world-map
Additionally, it seems as though the expression “once you go black, you never go back” may be based on truth. Africa, on average, is home to some of the largest human, male penises in the world.
If you’re interested in further exploring another factor that can weigh into your next vacation destination or study abroad location, check out the link and learn more about penis size around the world.
http://www.globalpost.com/dispatches/globalpost-blogs/the-rice-bowl/penis-size-world-map
Monday, March 21, 2011
Still hungover? Another St. Party’s weekend DONE
We got decked out in green clothes, drank green beer that colored our teeth, ate green tortillas at Panchero’s, and danced our little leprechaun butts off. Now, the weekend of reckless partying is over…so what’s next?
The festive air and loose attitude of St. Patrick’s Day in college brought about many hook-ups and action getting days/nights. In the wake of the craziness, are several date parties and last chances of trying to hook-up with that special someone you’ve been eyeing before finals start and you stop going out as much. Take advantage of the metaphorical seeds you planted over the weekend and ask someone to your date party. Text them before you go out at night and see if they are too. The going-out opportunities at school are numbered. Carpe noctem.
The festive air and loose attitude of St. Patrick’s Day in college brought about many hook-ups and action getting days/nights. In the wake of the craziness, are several date parties and last chances of trying to hook-up with that special someone you’ve been eyeing before finals start and you stop going out as much. Take advantage of the metaphorical seeds you planted over the weekend and ask someone to your date party. Text them before you go out at night and see if they are too. The going-out opportunities at school are numbered. Carpe noctem.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Sexy Song of the Week
A sexy song is a song you like to grind to. A song you like you to drop it low and bring it up slow to. To get really close and bump and grind to.
A song you like to have intense, dry sex in public to.
This week’s sexy song of the week is a classic number by the suave R. Kelly: Ignition (remix). It’s not so subtle hints about putting the key in the ignition really get people’s motors running with its smooth beats. It is a classic song that people grind/make-out on the dance floor to, which makes it our sexy song of the week.
Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6y_4_b6RS8
A song you like to have intense, dry sex in public to.
This week’s sexy song of the week is a classic number by the suave R. Kelly: Ignition (remix). It’s not so subtle hints about putting the key in the ignition really get people’s motors running with its smooth beats. It is a classic song that people grind/make-out on the dance floor to, which makes it our sexy song of the week.
Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6y_4_b6RS8
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Spring Break: The Aftermath
Back to the sunless Ann Arbor after a week of wild times in the sun (except for those people that did not go somewhere wonderful and warm – sucks). For the rest of us, we are left with remnants of the sun’s effects (sunburn/peeling/quickly fading tans) and hazy memories of spring break hook-ups.
The question now is, were those hook-ups just a spring break thing or will they continue now that we are back at school?
The answer to this ultimate question is simple: it depends.
But here are some possible signs to determine if it was a spring-break-only-deal or if it could continue.
1. Did they ask for your number? If the answer is no, then the answer you should expect about a late night hook-up is also, no.
2. Have you recently become Facebook friends with your fling? This is a tricky sign to read because if they did friend you, it could mean two things: they’re into hitting you up again or they just wanted to clarify who you/what you look like/reassure themselves that it was okay to hook-up with you because it was just spring break (so it’s like it didn’t happen).
3. You see you have some pictures tagged together on Facebook, are those tags still tagged? You might want to keep an eye on that because if you’re getting your pictures together untagged, your hook-up probably is
a) embarrassed
b) has a significant other of sorts and is nervous about them discovering what an asshole they were
c) they are just a freak about how they look in tagged pictures.
4. A final sign is whether or not they find some way to contact you. Either online, by phone, through a mutual friend, or in person (probably near or around Scorekeepers).
Hopefully, or maybe not so hopefully, all your spring break hook-ups will turn into awesome, non-dramatic, problem/heartbreak-free relationships but, honestly, don’t get your hopes up. Keep an open mind. It was fun while it lasted so who cares if it might be over. There’s a million fish in the sea and three nights of the week that people go to Skeeps.
The question now is, were those hook-ups just a spring break thing or will they continue now that we are back at school?
The answer to this ultimate question is simple: it depends.
But here are some possible signs to determine if it was a spring-break-only-deal or if it could continue.
1. Did they ask for your number? If the answer is no, then the answer you should expect about a late night hook-up is also, no.
2. Have you recently become Facebook friends with your fling? This is a tricky sign to read because if they did friend you, it could mean two things: they’re into hitting you up again or they just wanted to clarify who you/what you look like/reassure themselves that it was okay to hook-up with you because it was just spring break (so it’s like it didn’t happen).
3. You see you have some pictures tagged together on Facebook, are those tags still tagged? You might want to keep an eye on that because if you’re getting your pictures together untagged, your hook-up probably is
a) embarrassed
b) has a significant other of sorts and is nervous about them discovering what an asshole they were
c) they are just a freak about how they look in tagged pictures.
4. A final sign is whether or not they find some way to contact you. Either online, by phone, through a mutual friend, or in person (probably near or around Scorekeepers).
Hopefully, or maybe not so hopefully, all your spring break hook-ups will turn into awesome, non-dramatic, problem/heartbreak-free relationships but, honestly, don’t get your hopes up. Keep an open mind. It was fun while it lasted so who cares if it might be over. There’s a million fish in the sea and three nights of the week that people go to Skeeps.
Monday, February 21, 2011
It tasted a little…funky
If you’ve ever given oral sex to a man then you know that semen has its own special…flavor. But what you might not know, guys, is that there are ways to alter the taste of your semen. Most importantly, your diet has a huge effect. Similar to how sweat can smell strongly after eating a heavily spiced meal, your sperm will also reflect the spices in its taste. What a man ejaculates is actually only about 1% sperm. The rest is composed of various proteins, vitamins, sugars, salts, cholesterol, and water. All the extras are what protect, feeds, and fuels the sperm in its journey from the penis to your taste buds. In other words, it is not surprising that your semen is so affected by what you eat. The final goal should be to have a sweeter tasting sperm that makes your partner not dread oral sex every time and gives them some incentive to come back for more. Remember, what you put into your body takes between 12 and 24 hours to secrete out and you should simply keep this in mind before eating and deciding whether you want a better sperm taste on that particular day or not!
Here are ten suggestions to help sweeten up your love juices:
1. Cut out alcohol, caffeine, recreational drugs and nicotine- they're all pollutants.
2. Drink lots of water 1 - 2 liters a day to flush out body toxins.
3. Fruit get plenty each day: Pineapple, papaya cranberry, melons, mangos, apples grapes are all good choices. These fruits are high in natural sugars and offset the bitter taste of semen.
4. Eat plenty of vegetables. While it is true vegetarians generally have better tasting sperm there are a few vegetables to avoid: Any vegetables from the cabbage family are big no-nos, also Cauliflower, broccoli, or asparagus
5. Cut red meat consumption (this is a big contributor to what makes sperm taste salty). Dairy produce such as milk and cheese also make sperm taste salty.
Make sure when you eat protein you get good quality, lean protein such as chicken and turkey. Also, fish is claimed by some to be an offender in terms of taste, but this seems to vary between individuals. Try it and see the affects before cutting it out, fish is a major part of a healthy diet, so don't cut it out!
6. Avoid heavy spices such as Garlic and onions, they're big offenders when it comes to sperm taste, as they have a high sulfur content.
7. Do not buy products that claim to make your semen taste better there is no evidence that they work.
Your semen can be made to taste better by overall changes in diet and lifestyle, it's a complex formula and a good healthy diet has the biggest affect.
8. Parsley, wheatgrass, and celery are particularly recommended for sweeter semen taste, because of their high chlorophyll content.
9. Cinnamon, cardamom, peppermint and lemon are particularly recommended for making semen taste sweeter.
10. Avoid junk food, they're loaded with chemicals and preservatives that pollute your body and your semen's taste.
If your semen, sperm, love juice, jizz, cum, cream, or whatever you want to call it still tastes bad regardless of your diet, see your doctor. You might have an infection down there, you stallion.
Here are ten suggestions to help sweeten up your love juices:
1. Cut out alcohol, caffeine, recreational drugs and nicotine- they're all pollutants.
2. Drink lots of water 1 - 2 liters a day to flush out body toxins.
3. Fruit get plenty each day: Pineapple, papaya cranberry, melons, mangos, apples grapes are all good choices. These fruits are high in natural sugars and offset the bitter taste of semen.
4. Eat plenty of vegetables. While it is true vegetarians generally have better tasting sperm there are a few vegetables to avoid: Any vegetables from the cabbage family are big no-nos, also Cauliflower, broccoli, or asparagus
5. Cut red meat consumption (this is a big contributor to what makes sperm taste salty). Dairy produce such as milk and cheese also make sperm taste salty.
Make sure when you eat protein you get good quality, lean protein such as chicken and turkey. Also, fish is claimed by some to be an offender in terms of taste, but this seems to vary between individuals. Try it and see the affects before cutting it out, fish is a major part of a healthy diet, so don't cut it out!
6. Avoid heavy spices such as Garlic and onions, they're big offenders when it comes to sperm taste, as they have a high sulfur content.
7. Do not buy products that claim to make your semen taste better there is no evidence that they work.
Your semen can be made to taste better by overall changes in diet and lifestyle, it's a complex formula and a good healthy diet has the biggest affect.
8. Parsley, wheatgrass, and celery are particularly recommended for sweeter semen taste, because of their high chlorophyll content.
9. Cinnamon, cardamom, peppermint and lemon are particularly recommended for making semen taste sweeter.
10. Avoid junk food, they're loaded with chemicals and preservatives that pollute your body and your semen's taste.
If your semen, sperm, love juice, jizz, cum, cream, or whatever you want to call it still tastes bad regardless of your diet, see your doctor. You might have an infection down there, you stallion.
Monday, February 14, 2011
What's your type?
Everybody has a ‘type’ of girl or guy that they usually like or tend to pursue. Whether they be black, white, lesbian, Asian, brown-haired, evangelical Chrisitians, green-eyed, albino, or whatever, everybody has some kind of type. Here at the University of Michigan, some undergraduate students put out a satirical parody music video about their type: Jewish American Princesses or JAPs.
Check out their music video and learn about just another type of person that people seek out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fvP4OACmWw
Check out their music video and learn about just another type of person that people seek out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fvP4OACmWw
Monday, February 7, 2011
Circumventing Circumcision
There is a lot of talk among the masses about whether it is more pleasurable to have intercourse with an uncircumcised penis. Is it unsafe? Is it weird? Some men fear revealing their uncut sausage to new partners, afraid of judgment and rejection.
Here are some important facts addressing the question of whether to be cut or uncut. For starters, “a new study finds that circumcised men appear less likely to sustain cuts, abrasions and other minor injuries to the penis during sex -- which may help explain why circumcision lowers the risk of HIV transmission from heterosexual sex.” However, it appears that uncircumcised men experience more pleasure during intercourse, oral sex, and masturbation. The presence of the foreskin works in a number of ways to provide maximal stimulation and pleasure for the male. Although, it might be more pleasurable for the uncircumcised male during intercourse, it does not affect the women’s ability to have an orgasm or not. In fact, because uncircumcised penises are less common in this day and age, women may be less likely to experience an orgasm because they are unused to seeing an uncircumcised penis and may not be able to mentally engage.
In short, uncircumcised males have better sex but having a circumcised Johnson is safer and more comfortable for the common sexual partner to see (aka they won’t be startled and will be able to proceed with the sexing – problem free). So don’t be a fool, circumcise your tool…and use a condom.
http://www.reuters.com/article/2010/06/04/us-circumcision-idUSTRE6534G720100604
Here are some important facts addressing the question of whether to be cut or uncut. For starters, “a new study finds that circumcised men appear less likely to sustain cuts, abrasions and other minor injuries to the penis during sex -- which may help explain why circumcision lowers the risk of HIV transmission from heterosexual sex.” However, it appears that uncircumcised men experience more pleasure during intercourse, oral sex, and masturbation. The presence of the foreskin works in a number of ways to provide maximal stimulation and pleasure for the male. Although, it might be more pleasurable for the uncircumcised male during intercourse, it does not affect the women’s ability to have an orgasm or not. In fact, because uncircumcised penises are less common in this day and age, women may be less likely to experience an orgasm because they are unused to seeing an uncircumcised penis and may not be able to mentally engage.
In short, uncircumcised males have better sex but having a circumcised Johnson is safer and more comfortable for the common sexual partner to see (aka they won’t be startled and will be able to proceed with the sexing – problem free). So don’t be a fool, circumcise your tool…and use a condom.
http://www.reuters.com/article/2010/06/04/us-circumcision-idUSTRE6534G720100604
Monday, January 31, 2011
Skeeps Etiquette: Getting In and Getting It In
Finally Thursday night! You know what that means? 3 straight nights of binge drinking and not even a thought about school until late Sunday afternoon! Sounds like a weekend full of cheap vodka and Skeeps! But nothing makes a weekend more memorable than hooking up (essentially the only reason guys go out in the first place), and what better place to find that special someone than Skeeps. Here are some suggestions to optimizing that chance:
• Don’t wave your money around too much at the bar: You don’t need to spend a ton of money at the bar (although it doesn’t hurt sometimes) to get someone to go home with you. At the very least, you need to buy at least one drink for that potential hook-up; because unless they went out that night intending to hook-up with you already, you’ll need to spend some time with them and what better way to do that then to loosen up the conversation with a drink?! For free! Purchased and given out of the goodness of your own heart with no ulterior motives whatsoever…
• It’s not considered “game” if THEY ask YOU to buy them a drink: I guess you can consider it almost kind of not really close at all to you “spittin’ some game”, it’s really just that potential hook-up getting drunker so they don’t feel as bad if they’re stuck going back with you at the end of the night. Plus, if they ask you to buy them a drink, you might just be the person who gives the free drinks and not the person who ends up getting it on at the end of the night.
• If it’s on Jersey Shore, don’t wear it: Shiny dragons and flashy brand names are better in theory than practice…why can’t you just wear a skirt or button down like everyone else?
• Don’t talk about school: How often does telling someone how well you did on your Orgo test get you laid? Never. And it never will. So stop telling people, seriously, even your Mom’s sick of it.
Etc. The list goes on and on. If you see your friend or someone you know acting out any of the above, do the right thing and correct them. Proper etiquette isn’t just for country clubs and fancy dinners; it’s for Skeeps.
• Don’t wave your money around too much at the bar: You don’t need to spend a ton of money at the bar (although it doesn’t hurt sometimes) to get someone to go home with you. At the very least, you need to buy at least one drink for that potential hook-up; because unless they went out that night intending to hook-up with you already, you’ll need to spend some time with them and what better way to do that then to loosen up the conversation with a drink?! For free! Purchased and given out of the goodness of your own heart with no ulterior motives whatsoever…
• It’s not considered “game” if THEY ask YOU to buy them a drink: I guess you can consider it almost kind of not really close at all to you “spittin’ some game”, it’s really just that potential hook-up getting drunker so they don’t feel as bad if they’re stuck going back with you at the end of the night. Plus, if they ask you to buy them a drink, you might just be the person who gives the free drinks and not the person who ends up getting it on at the end of the night.
• If it’s on Jersey Shore, don’t wear it: Shiny dragons and flashy brand names are better in theory than practice…why can’t you just wear a skirt or button down like everyone else?
• Don’t talk about school: How often does telling someone how well you did on your Orgo test get you laid? Never. And it never will. So stop telling people, seriously, even your Mom’s sick of it.
Etc. The list goes on and on. If you see your friend or someone you know acting out any of the above, do the right thing and correct them. Proper etiquette isn’t just for country clubs and fancy dinners; it’s for Skeeps.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Some of the Five Worst Things to Happen While Inebriated
5. Drunk goggles hook-up or drunk dialing/texting
If you’ve ever gone out in college, had a little too much to drink, and woke up the next day with all your friends laughing at you, then you know what drunk goggles mean. Someone may look more attractive or be a lot funnier than you would normally think. Now, when you have the drunk goggles on, it is not just your vision that is blurred. You may or may not also think that it would be a great idea to whip out the phone.
It’s not.
i.e. the wildly successful website www.textsfromlastnight.com was born. Congratulations drunk goggles.
4. Seeing your teacher
There is almost nothing worse than being out at a bar or a party, drinking, laughing with your friends, having the time of your life, and then, seeing your teacher. Do I say hi? Do they see me? Is this going to be bad later?
It might be something you’ve given little thought to but, seriously, what if it happened? It’s not really that unlikely. You probably have a GSI that is not that much older than you.
So many things could go wrong if this situation presented itself. You could hook up with them. That would be awkward. You could start talking to them about how drunk you are. That would also be awkward. There really isn’t anything that could come out of this situation that isn’t awkward. Sorry.
“Oh, I love seeing teachers outside of school. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs.”
3. Losing a tooth
Having something with serious repercussion (like looking like a hillbilly until you can make your way to a reconstructive dentists of sorts) happen while inebriated SUCKS. Whether it’s losing a tooth, breaking a body part, or losing important things (phone, credit card, license, etc.), it just straight up sucks because it’s hard to take it seriously when you’re having so much fun!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXEO0dugq-4
2. Dick in zipper
You’re at the bar, buying drinks, taking shots, and, inevitably, you make your way to the restroom. One of the worst things that can happen in the bathroom, if you’re a guy, is accidentally zipping your dick in your zipper. For girls, it would probably be that you are too drunk and accidentally sit down on the pee-covered toilet seat – it’s upsetting but you wipe it off and take a shower. Boys, your pain will last longer but, it’s proven, will eventually heal.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Xuah8LC-Cw
1. Getting arrested for something
Peeing in public feels like a great relief at the time. Running naked in the streets seems fun at the time. Having sex in a public place sounds like a good story to tell later. Shouting obscenities is always funny at the time.
But you know what’s not funny later?
Jail.
If you’ve ever gone out in college, had a little too much to drink, and woke up the next day with all your friends laughing at you, then you know what drunk goggles mean. Someone may look more attractive or be a lot funnier than you would normally think. Now, when you have the drunk goggles on, it is not just your vision that is blurred. You may or may not also think that it would be a great idea to whip out the phone.
It’s not.
i.e. the wildly successful website www.textsfromlastnight.com was born. Congratulations drunk goggles.
4. Seeing your teacher
There is almost nothing worse than being out at a bar or a party, drinking, laughing with your friends, having the time of your life, and then, seeing your teacher. Do I say hi? Do they see me? Is this going to be bad later?
It might be something you’ve given little thought to but, seriously, what if it happened? It’s not really that unlikely. You probably have a GSI that is not that much older than you.
So many things could go wrong if this situation presented itself. You could hook up with them. That would be awkward. You could start talking to them about how drunk you are. That would also be awkward. There really isn’t anything that could come out of this situation that isn’t awkward. Sorry.
“Oh, I love seeing teachers outside of school. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs.”
3. Losing a tooth
Having something with serious repercussion (like looking like a hillbilly until you can make your way to a reconstructive dentists of sorts) happen while inebriated SUCKS. Whether it’s losing a tooth, breaking a body part, or losing important things (phone, credit card, license, etc.), it just straight up sucks because it’s hard to take it seriously when you’re having so much fun!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXEO0dugq-4
2. Dick in zipper
You’re at the bar, buying drinks, taking shots, and, inevitably, you make your way to the restroom. One of the worst things that can happen in the bathroom, if you’re a guy, is accidentally zipping your dick in your zipper. For girls, it would probably be that you are too drunk and accidentally sit down on the pee-covered toilet seat – it’s upsetting but you wipe it off and take a shower. Boys, your pain will last longer but, it’s proven, will eventually heal.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Xuah8LC-Cw
1. Getting arrested for something
Peeing in public feels like a great relief at the time. Running naked in the streets seems fun at the time. Having sex in a public place sounds like a good story to tell later. Shouting obscenities is always funny at the time.
But you know what’s not funny later?
Jail.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Pick-Up Lines 101: What’s Your Sign?
As you may have heard, there is a new zodiac sign on the charts and everyone’s zodiac signs have shifted by about a month. This would basically mean that your personality and basic characteristics have changed, as well as the perfect matching sign of your soul mate. Seems totally logical…
Not.
After doing some digging on the internet, it appears that those individuals with zodiac sign tattoos, a daily horoscope application, or anybody who at least knew what their sign was need fear no longer! According to Lawrence Grecco, an astrologist to New York City’s elite with over 20 years experience in the stars, “this new chart is not accurate” and the masses do not need to worry about having a mid-life zodiac crisis. Furthermore, Susan Miller, a famous New York-based astrologist, says to “not start reading the wrong sign. You'll be getting the wrong readings. People who read the wrong sign will never believe in astrology again.”
In other words, if the “what’s your sign” line was previously your go-to-pick-up and you were nervous that you couldn’t use it anymore, don’t be. You totally still can because nothing has changed! However, it is still recommended that you do not use this line because it is pretty lame and stupid. Commonly reserved for creepy older people that go to undergraduate bars where the bar-goers are usually underage students who are inappropriately inebriated for a public place. So unless you are a learned astrologer and could follow up this classically out-dated line with some fascinating, life-changing information about how zodiac signs are matched up or some other really cool fact, don’t ever use this line not as a joke.
http://globalgrind.com/channel/gossip/content/1901063/new-zodiac-signs-2011-chart/
http://www.wtol.com/Global/story.asp?S=13846716
Not.
After doing some digging on the internet, it appears that those individuals with zodiac sign tattoos, a daily horoscope application, or anybody who at least knew what their sign was need fear no longer! According to Lawrence Grecco, an astrologist to New York City’s elite with over 20 years experience in the stars, “this new chart is not accurate” and the masses do not need to worry about having a mid-life zodiac crisis. Furthermore, Susan Miller, a famous New York-based astrologist, says to “not start reading the wrong sign. You'll be getting the wrong readings. People who read the wrong sign will never believe in astrology again.”
In other words, if the “what’s your sign” line was previously your go-to-pick-up and you were nervous that you couldn’t use it anymore, don’t be. You totally still can because nothing has changed! However, it is still recommended that you do not use this line because it is pretty lame and stupid. Commonly reserved for creepy older people that go to undergraduate bars where the bar-goers are usually underage students who are inappropriately inebriated for a public place. So unless you are a learned astrologer and could follow up this classically out-dated line with some fascinating, life-changing information about how zodiac signs are matched up or some other really cool fact, don’t ever use this line not as a joke.
http://globalgrind.com/channel/gossip/content/1901063/new-zodiac-signs-2011-chart/
http://www.wtol.com/Global/story.asp?S=13846716
Monday, January 10, 2011
Welcome Back to School: Where everything is covered in snow but girls still go out in tank tops, short skirts, and tight dresses
Winter term has just begun and it’s time for a fresh start. New classes means meeting new people and having different class times means being able to go out on different nights then you did in the fall. You could meet a whole new pool of people to hang out with! And if not a whole new pool, then at least a few more additions to your current one. So here are just a few pointers for stepping back out on the college social scene this term:
1. To be coy or not to be coy
Sometimes, it’s hard to tell whether it’s better to just put it all out there or hold back and play games. Normally, it’s best to go with what feels right for the situation: express your feelings or keep them to yourself for a little bit of mystery and intrigue.
And when it comes to whether or not to have sex or when to have sex, ask yourself, “What do I want out of the relationship?” Sometimes, although there are many exceptions to this rule, when you decide to have sex is also the decider of how long the relationship will last – or if it will last at all. Holding back and being coy about it at first can be the best way to find out what the other person’s motives are. Unless, of course, you are the one just looking for sex, in which case, all the more power to you. Use protection and be safe.
2. Think before you speak out loud
It is always important to remember that what you talk about with someone is a reflection of what you are choosing to bring up in the conversation. In other words, it is an indication of who you are to the other person. If you talk about sports or playing a game of D&D this afternoon, for better or worse, the other person will judge you by that.
Additionally, girls, when you point out how fat you look, how frizzy your hair is, or whatever other negative thing you choose to comment on, remember that you are drawing attention to something that you see as a flaw and that will be all the other person, who you are trying to impress, will focus on.
3. Don’t over-think it, don’t over analyze
If someone calls you or texts you, it DOES NOT necessarily mean that they are in love with you or have any desire to be your boyfriend or girlfriend. It probably just means that they wanted to call you or text you. Period. For the most part, it is smart to take most comments, interactions, etc. at face-value; don’t work yourself up too much.
1. To be coy or not to be coy
Sometimes, it’s hard to tell whether it’s better to just put it all out there or hold back and play games. Normally, it’s best to go with what feels right for the situation: express your feelings or keep them to yourself for a little bit of mystery and intrigue.
And when it comes to whether or not to have sex or when to have sex, ask yourself, “What do I want out of the relationship?” Sometimes, although there are many exceptions to this rule, when you decide to have sex is also the decider of how long the relationship will last – or if it will last at all. Holding back and being coy about it at first can be the best way to find out what the other person’s motives are. Unless, of course, you are the one just looking for sex, in which case, all the more power to you. Use protection and be safe.
2. Think before you speak out loud
It is always important to remember that what you talk about with someone is a reflection of what you are choosing to bring up in the conversation. In other words, it is an indication of who you are to the other person. If you talk about sports or playing a game of D&D this afternoon, for better or worse, the other person will judge you by that.
Additionally, girls, when you point out how fat you look, how frizzy your hair is, or whatever other negative thing you choose to comment on, remember that you are drawing attention to something that you see as a flaw and that will be all the other person, who you are trying to impress, will focus on.
3. Don’t over-think it, don’t over analyze
If someone calls you or texts you, it DOES NOT necessarily mean that they are in love with you or have any desire to be your boyfriend or girlfriend. It probably just means that they wanted to call you or text you. Period. For the most part, it is smart to take most comments, interactions, etc. at face-value; don’t work yourself up too much.
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