Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Valentines Day!

Having problems with your love life? Now is the time to start thinking about the sexiest holiday Hallmark ever created! The Superbowl of those who eat, sleep and sweat sexy, would rather be naked that clothed and Turned On’s favorite holday… Valentines Day.

While some girls think of chocolates, flowers and cards for Cupid’s Holiday, others have sex on the mind. Being in college is a great thing… finally the ability to not have to sneak down in your parent’s basement and hope to get a handjob, if you’re lucky, before you hear her parents creep down the stairs to see if you “need something to drink”. Now the you’re in college you have the ultimate freedom to do whatever you wish in your bed with whomever you wish. But let’s take a step back before you start to put your towel on the door.

Nothing ruins the mood like dirty socks next to your bed (we don’t want to know what you are doing with your tube socks), homework displayed all over the room, dirty dishes with crusted macaroni and cheese and especially one little thing- your roommate.

Here are some useful tips to get your dorm room or bed room to be the most sensual, romantic, sexy or whatever you please for this upcoming Valentines Day! It's time to get creative. Start by fantasizing: What excites your sense of smell, touch, taste? What do you like to be able to see, or not see, when you're snuggling? Use your five senses and these 10 tips to make sure you have the most sexy V-Day ever without using candles and burning down South Quad.

1. Extra Pillows. The more the merrier! No true seductress expects her honey to sleep in discomfort, and imagine how you'll look lounging against a mountain of plush, comfy, oh-so-inviting cushions. Try different textures and fabrics for sensual surprises when it's too dark to see. Bed Bath and Beyond is great for some extra pillows that are cheap. Use the pillows under your woman’s hips for a new sensation and easier anal entry. Women will appreciate this and guys will look romantic.
2. Banish the Television. Better yet- hide the remote. Valentines Day is not for having Gossip Girl or SportsCenter in the background. Keep it quiet as possible so you can hear each other breathing and the dirty talk.
3. Adjustable Lighting. Candles are not permitted in the dorms and Turned On is not here to start fires, except for in your pants. Use a bedside lamp with a dimmer switch, or low-watt lighting behind a mysterious screen. Try a lampshade or paper lantern that's decorated to cast lovely shapes and shadows around the room. Another tip is to use flameless candles that you can get at CVS. These battery operated candles flicker just like candles and can even puff out nice scents.
4. The Best Sheets You Can Buy. What makes sleeping at a hotel so sexy? Hint: it's not the mint on the pillow. It's the soft, crisp, easy-to-slide-between sheets. The magic words for any temptress worth her tickle-feather are "thread count," and you're looking for nothing less than 250. Try to avoid silk sheets because you could end up like our sexpert Matt and slide right off the bed, scraping your back on your dresser.
5. Music. It's not the food of love for nothing. A successful love nest creates an ambience of passion and suspense, and music is a key part of that effect. The tunes you play in a love nest should be rhythmic, intriguing, and a little bit racy. Think Barry White or Middle Eastern doumbek. Music that's repetitive or too soft, combined with dim lighting and a cozy-looking bed, can run the risk of soothing the very senses you want to stimulate. So take risks with your music, and don't be afraid to turn up the volume! If Barry White bores you, try to turn up the volume, and the heat with some raunchy Lil Wayne, Nine Inch Nails, or Justin Timberlake.
6. Adventures for the eye. A well-chosen, striking, and prominently-placed bit of eye candy can spice up your bedroom faster than a truckload of oysters. Think bold, sexy colors and prints, like one wall painted your favorite dramatic shade, or anything leopard.
7. Reflect the romance. Mirrors can go a long way toward creating an inviting atmosphere, and no, you needn't hang one on your ceiling. This would be easy though if your beds are bunked or you have a loft. You can get a cheap mirror from Bed Bath and Beyond or even Target to place on the ceiling or on the wall next to your bed. Some flirty alternatives: a lamp in a beautiful color or a cluster of candles in front of your mirror can enhance romantic lighting, or a strategically-placed selection of small makeup mirrors throughout the room (on the table, near the flowers, on the bedposts) will add a sexy twinkle and some delightful surprises to the evening.
8. Organic Pleasures. Recreate some tropical abundance in your room with luscious plants and flowers and food! Beware of going overboard unless your guy gets a kick out of hacking his way through a jungle to you like Indiana Jones.
9. Something Billowy. Try to add a little motion to the emotion in your love nest, with a loosely-flowing nightgown, a floaty sheer curtain, or just your trusty ficus plant, reborn with a string of lights and swaying in a low breeze. And speaking of breeze, nothing gets sexy fabrics moving like a quiet fan on a low speed in the corner perhaps with a pot of delicious potpourri in front of it, to spread a warm scent.
10. Clear the Clutter. The following things are not welcome in any true Love Nest: pictures of mom, pictures of exes, electric bills, the television (it's worth repeating), laundry baskets, stray socks and inhibitions.

So use some, or all of these tips to make your Valentines Day the best! ☺

Stay Sexy Ann Arbor,
Your Sexpert… Samie

Ps: Thanks to ivillage.com for these great tips!

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