Weird Sex News!

I need sex!
Police in Tampa say Joshua Basso was alone and "in the mood" when his cell phone ran out of minutes. So police say he called 911 and asked for someone to have sex with him... five times.

New Romance Robbery
A Tennessee couple is spending their honeymoon behind bars after allegedly robbing the place where they were married. Police say Brian T. Dykes, 21, and Mindy K. McGhee, 24, were wed at the Black Bear Cub Resort Wedding Chapel... then returned at 1 a.m. to rob the joint.

Mother Daughter Rivalry
Two Florida women -- a mother and daughter -- fighting over the same man were arrested and tossed in the clink, according to police.

Creepy Love Triangle
A woman from the St. Louis area was arrested for having sex with her fiance's brother... who is just 13 years old.

Syrian Monkeys
Are Syrians engaged in some epic monkey-spanking? One blogger's complaint that the nation's youth is overly engaged in self-satisfaction has resulted in a sort of online sexual revolution... assuming sex with one's self counts, according to Newsweek. We'll be keeping an eye out for any stories on increased blindness and hairy palms in the region.

I’m Too Sexy
Talk about too hot to handle! A female prison guard in Britain says she lost her job because she was too sexy, and has now won an unfair dismissal and sex discrimination lawsuit, according to the Mail Online.

Man I Feel Like A Woman
A German woman who suffered a seizure now thinks she's a man, according to LiveScience. The woman, who was completely healthy before the seizure, even believes other women are turning into men.

Read more at http://weirdnews.about.com/od/suggestedreading/tp/Love--Sex---Marriage.01.htm

The Best Kind of Stuffing

Thanksgiving break is the perfect time to expand your hook up pool. And, with Thanksgiving break just hours away, here are a few quick tips for rekindling those high school flames:
1. Set yourself up for success
2. Respect new relationships
3. Avoid day time dates
4. Be mature
5. Don't have unrealistic expectations
It is important to remember, though,that while some old crushes may return hotter than ever, others may have let themselves go. That being said, Thanksgiving is also an opportunity to remind failed flames that you were a great catch. Stay confident, look sexy, and do it for the story.

SEX TOY WARNING!!!

Interestingly in one of my classes today we had a speaker from NPR come in and talk about her work. The biggest story that she shared with us one that she did about the safety of sex toys. The story goes something kind of like this:

A woman was really excited to open a sex toy shop but when she got her first shipment of dildos in, they open the box to see that the packages had a type of greasy/oil stain on them, which was also on the foam packing peanuts and also on the shipping box. What is this she wondered? Looking into this more she found out that it is a “thalloid” type substance, which is from the cheap manufacturing of a soft PVC material which was used in the manufacturing of these cheap sex toys.

Doing some more research into this area, it was found that sex toys are not regulated by any government; ours, or the Chinese government where most of them are manufactured. This can be dangerous, because this thalloid substance contains known carcinogens that can be dangerous to your health and cause birth defects.

Since sex is still a pretty taboo subject to talk about (to some people, not us of course!) I don’t see any government regulating sex toys soon. This also creates a lot of health complications because people will develop rashes or problems from using these cheap sex toys and go to their doctor who will wrongfully diagnose them as an STD, which will not cure these problems.

We love sex toys here on Turned On and don’t want you to stop using them, but just make sure you check the products first, and spend that extra money to get a quality one, because these problems mainly plague cheaper ones that use chemicals to soften the plastic, and mostly in “jelly” type toys (super squishy ones).

To hear the actual story by Kyle Norris, check out her website at www.kylenorris.com

Word of the Week

Remember when “talking” became the hott word in the hookup and dating community? Teens and young adults alike began using the term in an attempt to define relationships that were more than just sexually based (i.e. friends with benefits) but less than an exclusive and committed relationship. Couples that were “talking” were essentially on their way to relationship status.
Well, yet again it seems that a new word has infiltrated the dating scene. “To slam,” used as a verb, is now being used in place of “to hook up.” For example, one might say, “It’s been so long since I’ve slammed sober.” “I’m not going home tonight until I slam.”
We don’t want to leave you guys out of the loop. Stay on top of your game and slam safely.

International Relations

How good are you in bed??

Well, according to a poll conducted across the world, where you are from has a lot to do with it. The countries with the best men are:

1. Spain
2. Brazil
3. Italy
4. France
5. Ireland
6. South Africa
7. Australia
8. New Zealand
9. Denmark
10. Canada

Americans did not fare to well in the poll however. They came in as the 5th worst for being too rough with the ladies. However, nothing can be as bad as number 1, the Germans who rated as “too smelly.” Two and three could probably take some tips from each other with number 2 being the English who are too lazy and number 3 being the Swedish who are too quick. Our big friends in Holland are too dominating, and all the romantics in Greece are too lovey-dovey. There were people from Wales who were just too large… I’m kidding, but they were number 7 with the men being too selfish. The rowdy Scots to our left were rated as too loud, well the Turks were number 9 with being too sweaty. Finally, the number 10 worst lovers were the Russians who apparently have bad cases of HOB (Hair on back).

So next time you think you are good in bed, check what our friends across the pond are doing and make sure that you don’t improvement in these areas as well!

Halloween!

It's that time of year where it's getting chilly out and the leaves are falling... and we get to dress up and go out for Halloween!!!

But what is an appropriate costume to wear? Something scandalous, something scary, or sexy?

I am a big fan of the less-is-more costume approach. This can be fun or sexy depending on how you approach it. For example, girls can wear lingerie to become any type of animal, an angel, or devil or can go with the bikini and be some type of surfer girl or beauty pageant contestant. For guys, they this can be short shorts and being from the 80s or some type of pro athlete, or painting their bodies and being a superhero.

What about being scandalous?? Well these can be even more fun. Ladies, get out the skin tight, cleavage showing pleather outfits and become the catwoman for your batman or Sandy for your Danny. Undercover spies or sexy nurses also make for more coverage but equal sex appeal. What about guys? It is harder to be 'scandalous' as a guy but the one thing I would say is don't pull a Prince Harry and dress as a Nazi, always keep some class.

And down right sexy. Well, any of the aforementioned costumes are sexy, but nothing is sexier than seeing a group or couple in hot duds. Talk to you current fling and plan costumes together one night. A sexy doctor and nurse duo may translate to some fun role-playing in the bedroom later. ;)

Just remember, be safe, have fun and stay sexy! :)

The H Words

Hetero- and Homo- sexual. Where did these words come from? People have always had same and opposite sex relationships and sexual relations but have there always been heterosexuals? The short answer is no, in fact there haven't.

The word heteosexual was actually first used on March 7, 1892 by Dr. James G. Kiernan of Chicago. In his context, heterosexuals were defined by a mental condition, "physical hermaphroditism" where people had a inclination to both sexes. These heterodox sexuals betrayed inclinations to abnormal methods of gratification, which was pleasuring themselves without procreation (aka having sex just to do it). He also used the word homosexual whose general mental state is that of the opposite sex, so homosexuals were defined by their deviance from a gender norm - they displayed a double deviance from both gender and procreative norms.

Later that year Dr. Krafft-Ebing book Psychopathia Sexualis was translated into english where he used hereo-sexual in the modern sense, referring to an erotic feeling for a different sex. He also used "homo-sexual" referred unambiguously to an erotic feeling for a "same sex." Only gradually did doctors agree that heterosexual referred to a notmal, "other-sex" sexual desire. This idea of heterosexuality as the master sex from which all others deviated was deeply authoritarian.

So why do I bring this up? Well first, as we can see, the words hetero and homo sexual were created very recently. It wasn't until just over 100 years ago that these words came to be. So why do we put so much emphasis on the meaning of these two words. The hetero/homo divide was not nature's doing was it? We invent these categories to classify objects and force facts into separate categories.

Some of you have probably heard of Caster Semenya - the female runner from S. Africa that had to undergo gender testing because of her super fast times. Tests are still pending exact results but it has been found that she does have testes inside of her body. So is she a male? Is she a female?

It is a good example of how things do not need to be classified into discreet categories.
So think the next time you say something is so gay or so straight - is it really?? Or is it inbetween?

Stay Sexy Michigan

Turned On (4/14/09)

Hey, everybody. I'm proud to present the latest episode of Turned On!

Gay Marriage

I wanted to turn the focus away from sex today and more towards relationships: specifically gay marriage.

Today the Vermont Governor vetoed a bill that was passed by the state legislature legalizing same sex marriages. The bill was only 6 votes short of immunity from being vetoed by the governor. Things may change though, as Queerty.com reports, because two absent representatives were in favor of the bill and a few people, despite stating opposition will change their votes because of the Governor’s disrespect “for the legislative process when he made the decision to announce publically [sic] his intention to veto the bill even before it was put up for consideration."

In similar news, on April 3rd, Iowa’s Supreme Court struck down laws limiting sex to just between a man and a woman. (You can read the whole court decision here - Queerty.com). Reading the full decision by the court is actually very interesting. They analyze all of the arguments against gay marriage and why they are invalid. They prove that gay marriage does not harm children, marriage is not just for procreation, gay marriage destabilizes heterosexual marriages or infringes on religious freedom. The basis for their decision is that their state constitution promises liberty and equality and by denying one specific minority group of a certain right is straight (ha) out discrimination.

Also, the California State courts are still looking at Prop 8 from last fall’s election (it was a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage). Since January, the California Supreme Court has been hearing challenges to Prop 8. This is similar to how Iowa went about the ruling, with the argument being that is an amendment that just targets one minority group and prevents the courts from doing their “most basic job of upholding the constitutional promise of ‘liberty and justice for all’” (lambdalegal.com).

I wanted to take time to break down the same-sex marriage issue and look at the laws surrounding it. Obviously, Turned On promotes safe and healthy relationships between anyone, man and woman, man and man or woman and woman, so I do take a more pro-same-sex marriage view, but I will try to examine both sides.

First, let’s look at Michigan’s marriage law. In 1996, a Michigan law was passed: “Marriage is inherently a unique relationship between a man and a woman. As a matter of public policy, this state has a special interest in encouraging, supporting, and protecting that unique relationship in order to promote, among other goals, the stability and welfare of society and its children. A marriage contracted between individuals of the same sex is invalid in this state.” (Mich. Compiled Laws § 551.1, § 551.271-2). In 2004, the state constitution was amended to say “To secure and preserve the benefits of marriage for our society and for future generations of children, the union of one man and one woman in marriage shall be the only agreement recognized as a marriage or similar union for any purpose.” (Mich. Constitution, Article I § 25).

So Michigan’s main problems are securing and preserving the benefits to society and also to children. Interesting. If gays were allowed to marry, society would be doomed (Just kidding).

First, they want to preserve the benefits that marriage have to society. So by denying a group of people access to shared health care benefits for their family, helps society? Allowing two people who are in love to marry and strengthen and promote their relationship and commitment to each other is a bad thing. Is that not a benefit to society? Some people argue that marriage promotes happiness, but by allowing gay marriage, it will damage the moral fabric of society and make society less happy as a whole. This is where I like to ask the question – if two guys are getting married on the opposite side of the state, and you have no knowledge of this, how does it affect your personal marriage? How does anyone else’s marriage affect your own relationship, even if it is your neighbors? You make your marriage what you want it to be and that should not change depending on who else is married too.

Also, promoting diversity and equality seems like a benefit to society. By creating laws and constitutional amendments that deny specific minority groups of basic constitutional rights seems a little counterproductive. The 14th Amendment of the United States Constitution states in Section 1 “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws” (United States Constitution). This seems that these laws and amendments are abridging the privileges of citizens.

What about popular opinion and “tradition.” The Iowa Court basically said too bad to those arguments stating “When a certain tradition is used as both the governmental objective and the classification to further that objective, the equal protection analysis is transformed into the circular question of whether the classification accomplishes the governmental objective, which objective is to maintain the classification.” Popular opinion did not like the idea of integration of blacks and whites, but it still happened. It was a rough transition, but the world didn’t end with blacks and whites having equal protection under the law. Same with allowing interracial marriages; another type of marriage that was originally outlawed but later overturned. I do not know of any cases that an interracial couple affected the sanctity of someone else’s marriage, and society still seems to be functioning pretty well.

Opponents of same-sex marriage also argue that marriage is for procreation and two men (or women) cannot procreate. That is true, two men or two women together may not create a child. However, if lack of procreation is reason enough to outlaw these, then any sterile person should not be allowed to marry either. They cannot procreate, so is their marriage any less meaningful?

Getting to the second part of Michigan’s law and amendment, not allowing gay marriages protect our children. Well, the APA took homosexuality off of the list of mental disorders a long time ago, and most gays are, contrary to 1970s beliefs, NOT pedophiles. Scientific research has concluded though that coming form a family of two same-sex parents DOES have an affect on the children. A positive affect. Overall, there really is no significant difference, but scientific research has actually shown positive affects on children reared by same-sex parents. I would say that if anything, these laws are hurting children more than helping them. They are exposing them to discrimination, and as I mentioned before with shared partner benefits, they could be limiting the health care benefits that they could receive with joint plans between parents.

Michigan has taken these laws one-step further, denying same-sex couples the right to civil unions. I am pretty sure that Civil Unions were invented in 1989 in Denmark to provide the same fiscal and legal qualities of a marriage to same-sex couples. So now states are denying something that was created for gays from them, basically just denying them of legal and fiscal benefits. Select states do grant Civil Unions to same-sex couples. Civil Unions are a government granted union, not acknowledged by the church. But doesn’t the government grant marriages too? Many people have ceremonies performed in a church, but one of my best friends got married in a courthouse, because a marriage is a legal status obtained by a couple. The legal and religious definitions of marriage are different and should not need to be codependent. Not looking at states that discriminate in issuing marriage licenses, but looking only at states the have civil unions for gays and marriages for straight couples, does this violate rulings similar to Brown v. Board of Education in 1954 where the Supreme Court said that having things that were separate but equal was no longer acceptable? If Civil Unions are equal (which for the most part they aren’t) then why do they have separate names and why do more straight couples not get them? Would most straight couples trade their marriage for a civil union? I don’t think so.

I obviously am one sided for same-sex marriage, but until I see a case that someone’s same-sex marriage created true repercussions on a straight couple’s marriage, other than they saying the bible doesn’t support it or just being against it, then I am going to have to stick with my side. The bible says a lot of things that people do not follow anymore such as: DEUTERONOMY 22:13-21 “If it is discovered that a bride is not a virgin, the Bible demands that she be executed by stoning immediately,” and MARK 10:1-12 “Divorce is strictly forbidden in both Testaments, as is remarriage of anyone who has been divorced.” The United States is not based off of the bible, which is why we have a separation of church and state and therefore laws should not be based off of what is said in the text or concurrent people’s beliefs. Also, as we can see by the above passages, times change. In fact, the bible does not really say much at all about homosexuality as we define it modernly. I really don’t like to get into religion stuff, but the one thing to take away is that marriage can be defined by a church or the state. It is a legal status that must be approved by a state (even every straight marriage) before benefits can accompany. I am not arguing on behalf of religion right now, because no church has an obligation to marry any two people, gay or straight, but the government should provide equal opportunities for all.

One final point about homosexual rights I wanted to make is about legal protection of employment. In most states there is not protection against discrimination based on sexual orientation by employers. In Michigan, there is only protection of public (state) employees for protections based on sexual orientation. Any gay person can be fired solely for the fact that they are gay. Is this also fair? We protect people based on race, gender, ethnicity, etc. but because someone is different they can still be fired.

What do you think? Talk back; give your opinions for or against gay marriage. We want to hear from you!

Also, I just had to post this, because it is a comical look at why gay marriage is bad. You may have seen the Facebook group, but here is a link to an article containing why Gay Marriage Killed the Dinosaurs. http://www.macauleypeterson.com/WP/?p=33=1 It is a lot of similar things that I have mentioned actually. Also check out Queerty.com for news and their interesting article on why the courts matter so much in our society http://www.queerty.com/our-idiot-proof-democracy-why-gays-lesbians-must-stand-up-for-the-courts-20090405/ .

Sexting

Sexting – or sending nude or partially nude images through cell phone – is a new craze that is driving parents wild. Here on Turned On, we wanted to think about this and if it is an issue. The main concern with “sexting” is that high schoolers and middle schoolers, who have not yet reached the legal age of consent are sending these pictures of themselves, or forwarding them, leading to sex offender and child pornography charges. But in college, that is not the issue. Sexting can carry many benefits for those who are of age.

First, you can connect with your significant other when away from each other. Sexting allows you to send pictures of your body, parts or yourself in your favorite position helping your loved one get off while thinking about you. It also is an intriguing way of flirting and turning the other person on.

BUT there are some negative consequences that may be associated. The most relevant for us, is taking pictures of yourself and sending them to others is a semi-permanent thing. If you take a picture and the other person has that stored on their phone, it will last until they delete it. An issue may arise if friends or family go through their phone and look at their messages. Also, people can instantly forward these pictures to anyone else, losing all privacy.

This has been the issue concerning parents. Not only for younger children is it illegal (and these younger children learn from their cooler older siblings like us), but this lack of privacy and embarrassment associated with it has also lead to problems. In fact, a girl, Jessica Logan, hanged herself after her nude pictures meant only for her boyfriend were sent to hundreds of people in her high school, leading to vicious taunting. An estimated 22 percent of teenagers engage in sexting.

Talkback – What do you think? Is sexting bad, or is it just a harmless way to share pictures with a significant other? Should there be such extreme punishments for teenagers engaging in it?

Hey everyone,

Hope you all had a great spring break. I had an awesome time down in Acapulco soaking up the sun, going to parties and just having a jolly old time. But, in any situation where you go to a foreign country and you partake in activities involving the opposite sex and drinking you always have to be careful. I know we haven’t had a lot of in depth information about STDs recently, so I thought you may want a list of some common symptoms. That “sunburn” on your private might actually be genital warts. In all seriousness, it is always important to wear a condom and be sexually responsible, nonetheless here’s a list of some common STDs…

Chlamydia
Most people have no symptoms.
Abnormal discharge from the penis or vagina,
pain in the testicles,
and burning with urinating.
Long-term irritation may cause lower abdominal pain, inflammation of the eyes and skin lesions.
In women, it can cause inflammation of the pelvic organs pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). Chlamydia can be completely cured, but can be caught again, especially if both sex partners aren't treated.

Genital Herpes
Small red bumps, blisters, or open sores on the penis, vagina, or areas close by.
Also, vaginal discharge in women.
Fever, headache, and muscle aches. Pain when urinating.
Itching, burning, or swollen glands in genital area.
Pain in legs, buttocks, or genital area.
Symptoms may go away and then come back. Some people may have no symptoms. There is no cure. Treatment includes taking a medicine to lower severity of symptoms.

Gonorrhea
Pain or burning when urinating
. Yellowish and sometimes bloody discharge from the penis or vagina.
But, many men have no symptoms. Can be completely cured, but can be caught again, especially if both sex partners aren't treated.

Hepatitis B
Mild fever.
Headache and muscle aches, joint pain
. Tiredness
. Loss of appetite. Nausea and vomiting.
Dark-colored urine and pale bowel movements.
Stomach pain.
Skin and whites of eyes turning yellow (jaundice).
About 30% of people have no symptoms. Treatment includes taking a medicine to help the liver fight damage from the virus.
There are medications available to treat long-lasting (chronic) HBV-infection. These work for some people, but there is no cure for hepatitis B when you first get it.
Fortunately, routine immunization of all children with the Hepatitis B vaccine will hopefully eliminate future Hepatitis B infections.

HIV Infection And Aids
May have no symptoms for 10 years or more.
Extreme fatigue.
Rapid weight loss
Frequent low-grade fevers and night sweats.
Frequent yeast infections (in the mouth).
Red, brown, or purplish blotches on or under the skin or inside the mouth, nose, or eyelids.
Women can have vaginal yeast infections and other STDs, pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), and menstrual cycle changes.
There is no cure. Treatment includes taking medicines to stop the virus from replicating, or making copies of itself.
Keep in mind that the CDC recommends that routine screening for HIV should begin for all teens at age 13 and then repeated each year if they are at high risk for getting an HIV infection.

Genital Warts (Human Papillomavirus (HPV))
Genital warts that usually first appear as small, hard painless bumps on the penis,
in the vaginal area, or around the anus.
They sometimes can be hard to see, but if left untreated can turn into a fleshy, cauliflower-like appearance
. Some people have no apparent symptoms.
HPV is linked with a higher risk of cervical cancer in women.
Gardasil, the HPV vaccine, will hopefully decrease the risk of getting genital warts and cervical cancer and can be given to girls between the ages of 9 and 26 years of age.
Syphilis
In the first (primary) stage, about 10 days to six weeks after exposure: a painless sore (chancre) or many sores that will heal on their own. If not treated, infection spreads to the next stage.
Secondary stage: skin rash that usually does not itch and clears on its own. Fever, swollen lymph glands, sore throat, patchy hair loss, headaches, weight loss, muscle aches, and tiredness.
Latent (hidden) stage: symptoms disappear, but infection remains in body and can damage the brain, nerves, eyes, heart, blood vessels, liver, bones, and joints. Late stage: not able to coordinate muscle movements, paralysis, numbness, gradual blindness, dementia, and possibly death. Can be completely cured, but can be caught again, especially if both sex partners aren't treated.

Matt

Episode 2/17/09

Proudly presenting the episode from this Tuesday!

Full Episode (2/10/09)

Hey, guys! Proud to present the episode from last week!

I Got 99 Problems...

Ah yes, Valentine’s Day. The day that couples get to act super happy and in love, regardless of their true feelings, and those of us who are single get to feel bad about ourselves—or do we? Society tells me that I should curl up in the fetal position in a dark corner of my apartment and cry, but to society I loudly and proudly say “none for me, thanks.” As a single male, I believe all is not lost when it comes to Single Awareness Day.

Let’s consider the facts: Valentine’s Day is basically a “holiday” created for women. Guys, for the most part, couldn’t care less whether the day happens or not. We are required to care about the day when we have that special someone in our lives. Those not in a relationship are basically ostracized from society, and considered to be damaged goods or unwanted (don’t worry, it’s only for the day, we’ll be fine tomorrow). Given this intense pressure to be in a relationship, women will do anything to at least put on the façade of one. What does this mean for the Average Joe? A goldmine, that’s what.

In the hyper-hookup culture that is college, finding a mate on any given Friday or Saturday night is not necessarily a difficult feat. However, when a holiday such as Valentine’s Day is lurking just around the corner, this situation reaches critical mass and finding a woman for the evening can be just about as easy as shooting a proverbial fish in a barrel. Seriously, if you can’t pull it off on one of the nights leading up to V-Day, you may as well retire from the Game.

Don’t believe me? Let’s try a hypothetical, then. Single Girl hangs around her female Friends with Dates, all of whom incessantly talk about how great their Valentine’s Day is going to be. Talks of flowers, expensive dinners, intimate and meaningful conversation, lots of sex-having—all this for weeks and weeks leading up to the day. By the weekend of the holiday, Single Girl has decided that she, too, wants to find romance, if only to show Friends with Dates that she can run with the big dogs. Single Girl goes out, and makes herself very available to just about any guy within reason. This is where the Average Joe steps in.

The Average Joe can find Single Girl at the bar/house party/wine aisle and chat her up. Average Joe and Single Girl make meaningless conversation, perhaps about how “great” it is to be buying wine-for-one on this of all days. Single Girl will be flirty, and easily amused by even the lamest jokes. The door is open, all the Average Joe has to do is walk through it. The best plan of attack is to tell her you’ll “be at _____ party, and it would be fantastic if you came.” Single Girl will undoubtedly show up, and the Average Joe can seal the deal. As an aside, repeat this process 3-5 times, to hedge your bets in order to guarantee selection. No one should have to settle.

While there might not be expensive dinners, over-priced flowers, or meaningful conversation, there likely will be a lot of sex-having between Single Girl and the Average Joe. This does not, however, mean Single Girl has questionable morals; rather, on any other day or weekend it would require 2-4 dates before the sex-having commenced. The exception lies in the nature of the day which, let’s be honest, is getting some. If the end-game of Valentine’s Day is not to get laid, we have all been severely misled.


And remember, Lil' Wayne said it best: "Don't hate the game, hate the institution."


Your Average Joe,

Joe Degnan

Valentines Day!

Having problems with your love life? Now is the time to start thinking about the sexiest holiday Hallmark ever created! The Superbowl of those who eat, sleep and sweat sexy, would rather be naked that clothed and Turned On’s favorite holday… Valentines Day.

While some girls think of chocolates, flowers and cards for Cupid’s Holiday, others have sex on the mind. Being in college is a great thing… finally the ability to not have to sneak down in your parent’s basement and hope to get a handjob, if you’re lucky, before you hear her parents creep down the stairs to see if you “need something to drink”. Now the you’re in college you have the ultimate freedom to do whatever you wish in your bed with whomever you wish. But let’s take a step back before you start to put your towel on the door.

Nothing ruins the mood like dirty socks next to your bed (we don’t want to know what you are doing with your tube socks), homework displayed all over the room, dirty dishes with crusted macaroni and cheese and especially one little thing- your roommate.

Here are some useful tips to get your dorm room or bed room to be the most sensual, romantic, sexy or whatever you please for this upcoming Valentines Day! It's time to get creative. Start by fantasizing: What excites your sense of smell, touch, taste? What do you like to be able to see, or not see, when you're snuggling? Use your five senses and these 10 tips to make sure you have the most sexy V-Day ever without using candles and burning down South Quad.

1. Extra Pillows. The more the merrier! No true seductress expects her honey to sleep in discomfort, and imagine how you'll look lounging against a mountain of plush, comfy, oh-so-inviting cushions. Try different textures and fabrics for sensual surprises when it's too dark to see. Bed Bath and Beyond is great for some extra pillows that are cheap. Use the pillows under your woman’s hips for a new sensation and easier anal entry. Women will appreciate this and guys will look romantic.
2. Banish the Television. Better yet- hide the remote. Valentines Day is not for having Gossip Girl or SportsCenter in the background. Keep it quiet as possible so you can hear each other breathing and the dirty talk.
3. Adjustable Lighting. Candles are not permitted in the dorms and Turned On is not here to start fires, except for in your pants. Use a bedside lamp with a dimmer switch, or low-watt lighting behind a mysterious screen. Try a lampshade or paper lantern that's decorated to cast lovely shapes and shadows around the room. Another tip is to use flameless candles that you can get at CVS. These battery operated candles flicker just like candles and can even puff out nice scents.
4. The Best Sheets You Can Buy. What makes sleeping at a hotel so sexy? Hint: it's not the mint on the pillow. It's the soft, crisp, easy-to-slide-between sheets. The magic words for any temptress worth her tickle-feather are "thread count," and you're looking for nothing less than 250. Try to avoid silk sheets because you could end up like our sexpert Matt and slide right off the bed, scraping your back on your dresser.
5. Music. It's not the food of love for nothing. A successful love nest creates an ambience of passion and suspense, and music is a key part of that effect. The tunes you play in a love nest should be rhythmic, intriguing, and a little bit racy. Think Barry White or Middle Eastern doumbek. Music that's repetitive or too soft, combined with dim lighting and a cozy-looking bed, can run the risk of soothing the very senses you want to stimulate. So take risks with your music, and don't be afraid to turn up the volume! If Barry White bores you, try to turn up the volume, and the heat with some raunchy Lil Wayne, Nine Inch Nails, or Justin Timberlake.
6. Adventures for the eye. A well-chosen, striking, and prominently-placed bit of eye candy can spice up your bedroom faster than a truckload of oysters. Think bold, sexy colors and prints, like one wall painted your favorite dramatic shade, or anything leopard.
7. Reflect the romance. Mirrors can go a long way toward creating an inviting atmosphere, and no, you needn't hang one on your ceiling. This would be easy though if your beds are bunked or you have a loft. You can get a cheap mirror from Bed Bath and Beyond or even Target to place on the ceiling or on the wall next to your bed. Some flirty alternatives: a lamp in a beautiful color or a cluster of candles in front of your mirror can enhance romantic lighting, or a strategically-placed selection of small makeup mirrors throughout the room (on the table, near the flowers, on the bedposts) will add a sexy twinkle and some delightful surprises to the evening.
8. Organic Pleasures. Recreate some tropical abundance in your room with luscious plants and flowers and food! Beware of going overboard unless your guy gets a kick out of hacking his way through a jungle to you like Indiana Jones.
9. Something Billowy. Try to add a little motion to the emotion in your love nest, with a loosely-flowing nightgown, a floaty sheer curtain, or just your trusty ficus plant, reborn with a string of lights and swaying in a low breeze. And speaking of breeze, nothing gets sexy fabrics moving like a quiet fan on a low speed in the corner perhaps with a pot of delicious potpourri in front of it, to spread a warm scent.
10. Clear the Clutter. The following things are not welcome in any true Love Nest: pictures of mom, pictures of exes, electric bills, the television (it's worth repeating), laundry baskets, stray socks and inhibitions.

So use some, or all of these tips to make your Valentines Day the best! ☺

Stay Sexy Ann Arbor,
Your Sexpert… Samie

Ps: Thanks to ivillage.com for these great tips!

Turned On (2/3/09)

Proudly presenting the full Turned On episode from Tuesday, 2/3/09. Enjoy!

Turned On All The Time!

If you have sex questions throughout the week, Turned On is still your place to go! We are now online throughout the week on AOL Instant Messenger, screen name AskTurnedOn. Your own campus sexperts will be online sporadically throughout the week answering questions and giving advice! Also, every episode we will be online during every show, so ask questions and we will answer them on-air for you!

Tonight we will be talking about Homosexuality and sex along with general anal sex tips for beginners, both giving and receiving.

On that note, I wanted to list some campus sex resources for everyone to use.
First, UHS is one of the best places to go for sex help, serious health matters, free condoms and lube, plus anonymous HIV testing and information. It is located in Suite 2110, on the Second Floor of UHS (Right across from the Michigan League).

The Spectrum Center is also an excellent resource for LGBT members for help, resources and offers some anonymous HIV testing. Located on the 3rd floor of the Michigan Union, more information can be found at http://spectrumcenter.umich.edu/.

I don't want to spoil our episode tonight, so want to just give you a few funny myths/questions to think about:
Am I gay? Can you stop being gay? Why do all gay men have such a good sense of fashion? Why do all lesbians have short butch hair?

While a lot of these questions are debatable, we will touch on this topic on tonight shows and also explore the joys on gay sex and just anal sex in general!

Tune in an get ready to be Turned On!

Turned On Full Episode

Hey, everybody. This is the full episode of Turned On from 1/27/09. Enjoy!

The Spray-On Condom!

Calling Gentlemen of all sizes: start your engines...
As women, we know that all of you men don't have the ability to fit inside the Magnum condoms and there is a reason they don't call you "10-inch Todd", but we still love you and your man goods. With the average penis size of males around the world measuring at 5.5 inches, why would the average condom size measure to 6.5 inches? Not only is it embarrassing for both parties to have a floppy condom but it can also be dangerous.

Condoms can easily slide off or break if they don't fit properly. Nothing ruins the mood more than hearing "oops" during a passionate, steamy banging session. With 120 million acts of sexual intercourse everyday, men and women around the world need a condom they can rely on!

Here is an article from the New York Times (hey! I didn't know that the Times got sexy?). One sexy German invented a condom that sprays on. This "second skin" makes sex more pleasurable for both parties because it is more sensitive than the latex alternative. This condom is guaranteed to fit perfectly snug so no one will be embarrassed or worried about hearing that dreadful word "oops".

The only problem is that we are waiting for this wonder-product to make it out on the market for sexy people to enjoy everywhere. Also the gel takes about two minutes to harden before use and is cold on first contact... hope you can stay hard boys! Even though I don't trust the Germans I think every one should give this miracle condom a try... once it's approved of course.

Don't believe me? Here's the article!

Spray-On, The
(New York Times)
By REBECCA SKLOOT
Published: December 12, 2008
Jan Vinzenz Krause, a 31-year-old German entrepreneur, says that condoms should be more like shoes. “You go into a shop, tell them your size and you get shoes that fit your feet,” he says. “Not so with condoms.” Aside from the occasional extra-large brand, condoms essentially come in one size: about 6.5 inches long. Penises, however, come in many sizes. This leaves many men squeezed into condoms so tight they cut off circulation (and impede erections) or so large they’re floppy and nonfunctional. To fix this, Krause has invented the world’s first condom that can be custom made for each man: the spray-on condom.
Several years ago, Krause created a Web site called the Online Condom Advisor, where he catalogued details of more than 100 brands to help men find the right fit. Soon users began asking him to recommend condoms that were large or small, wide or thin, but Krause couldn’t find any. Eventually one man asked, Isn’t there a condom that can be custom-sized to each man?
The idea for the spray-on condom came to Krause in a car wash, where he realized he could make a tube into which an erect penis could be inserted and then sprayed with liquid latex from all sides (as in a car wash) to create a perfectly fitting condom. He got PVC tubing and 30 nozzles from a hardware store, and the resulting condoms, according to Krause, feel like second skin — far more sensitive than traditional condoms. This year, 30 men tested a version of the device for ease of use and condom size. Their reviews were all positive. The only drawbacks: it takes two minutes for the condom to dry, and, as Krause says, “the spray is a bit cold.” So far, testing hasn’t involved intercourse with a partner, but Krause reports that it works well. “I am the developer,” he says with a giggle, “so of course I did a bit more testing of my own.”
Unfortunately, a regulatory agency has contacted Krause to point out the European Union’s strict product standards. “That will make it difficult to bring to market,” Krause says. He has developed My Size, a line of traditional condoms available in multiple sizes, which went on sale in November. But he doesn’t see spray-on condoms being commercially available any time soon.


Well, there you have it folks!

Until we see these beauties on the market we'll all have to stick to our beloved Trojans. Always wear a condom and remember to squeeze the tip when applying so there are no air bubbles that may cause tears. Here is some priceless advice- Ladies offer to apply the condom on yourself... talk about getting TURNED ON- its sexy and you know you're doing it right!

Stay Sexy Ann Arbor,
xoxo Your sexpert
Samie

PS: Look below to watch our most recent Turned On episode!

Episode, 1/20/09

Turned On is proud to present its winter episode from Tuesday, January 20th. It includes a number of tips on how to stay warm during the winter. A note: its blurry for a few moments at the beginning but it gets better. Enjoy!

Keep warm this winter

Hey guys,

I hope everyone has started off the semester well. It's especially important to keep warm while it's so cold this winter, and there is no better way to do that than to snuggle up with someone special. Not all of us are lucky enough to have that special someone to snuggle with, so sometimes you need to meet that guy or gal at the bar. All of us know it can be difficult to muster up the courage to talk someone, and we can all get a little tongue tied at times. Just be confident, be yourself, and make sure not to say any of the following pick up lines...


WORST PICK UP LINES I'VE EVER SEEN

Did it hurt? The fall from heaven…
Excuse me is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
Hey baby, let’s play house… you can be the door and I’ll slam you!
Hi, you’ll do.
I wonder what our children will look like?
I’ve got a condom with your name on it… and an emergency contraceptive for when I don’t use the condom.
You smell wet.. Let’s party
Come on. We’re leaving.
If you won’t screw me, can I screw you?
I’m sorry were you talking to me? (No.) Well then please start.
I have the strangest feeling you have a very beautiful vagina
You know.. the more I drink the better you look.
Can I buy you a drink? Or do you just want the money?
I may not be the best looking guy.. But I’m the only one talking to you.
I love every bone in your body… especially mine.


Remember, meeting someone for the first time is all about making a good impression. Trying to be some hard-ass when you're not, is not going to come across well. Just relax and be yourself. To all the girls out there, it takes a lot of balls to come up to you guys when you're with all your friends and looking HOT at the bar. So, when a guy comes over be open, unless he's a total D-bag, then you don't have to talk to him.

Everyone have a safe and fun semester and remember to watch us Tuesday nights at 10pm.